Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Lil' Man: "How old is your sister?"
Mrs. Amazing (my assistant): "Um.. she's 2 years older than me."
Lil' Man: "So, what? She's like 28 and you're 26?"
Lil' Man totally tried to charm the pants off Mrs. Amazing. He, of course, said it with a devilish smile.
For the record, Mrs. Amazing is older than 26.

Monday, December 20, 2010

If you give a girl a scarf..

My name is Lori and I am a shopaholic.

Retail therapy is the best therapy. You see, when you're angry, shopping makes you smile. When you're nervous, shopping can calm you. The best retail therapy happens when you're sad, too. It not only gives you instant gratification, but it makes you feel just as good the next day because you're wearing something new. And not only can I shop, I can rationalize just about anything.

Well... Mommy dearest gave me a scarf. She bought it because scarves are the "in" thing. But she didn't like it, so she gave it to me. However, it's not really in my color scheme (I wear black, grey, white, and more black) and I just needed something to wear with it. I had the perfect outfit picked out-- crisp white button down and striking khaki's. Sounds good, right? Except the khaki's I was thinking about don't exist anymore. They were a casualty of the life of a teacher. They were washed with colored paper that bled all over the load.

What's a girl to do when she doesn't have what she wants to wear the next day? Shop. Duh.

So, if you give a girl a scarf, chances are, she's going to have to shop for new khaki's. When the store doesn't have her khaki's, she'll need a second choice. When the second choice involves a different cami, chances are she'll have to find a new one. When she finds the top she's looking for, she'll look for a new scarf to go with it. The new scarf will be in the coat section. If she heads to the coat section, she'll probably find a new coat that she just has to have because her old coat is black and her beloved Zoey is white. And of course, the coat will just make her want a new scarf.

I still need those khaki's. Damn.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow...

I'm back in Maryland and ready to get back to "normal", whatever that may be. I suppose it will be my new normal. Again, whatever that may be. It's just a little strange to wake up and think, "Wow. My Dad is dead. I'll never get the chance to hug him. Tell him I love him. Or hear his crazy laugh." But, it's a reality and I will get through this.

Please, please, please. Go hug your dad. Tell him you love him. You just never know what tomorrow may bring.

When I arrived home today, I found my apartment completely spotless. Even the couch was vacuumed. Seriously. My friends not only cleaned my house, they did my laundry, and went grocery shopping for me. These are the same friends who also did my planning for this week so I wouldn't have to do anything when I get into school tomorrow. I have the greatest friends. Especially since I left both my house and classroom a complete disaster. I ran out the door. There were dishes in the sink. I NEVER do that. And my friends didn't even care. They didn't judge me. I am SO lucky.

In addition to a clean house, my students made me cards and they were waiting for me when I got home. My personal faves?

"Dear Ms. L, I'm not sure how your dad died but I love you."

"Ms. L, I hope you don't cry a whole lot because if you cry, I'll be sad. I don't want to be sad because I love you!"

*Disclaimer: I am going through a bit of an emotional roller coaster, so I can't guarantee the quality of my posts for the next couple of weeks. Especially through the holidays. Even though they've been cancelled at my house.*

Monday, December 13, 2010


My father passed away today at 1:35 pm, surrounded by loved ones.
My Dad was a special man. A man who touched many lives with his smile, jokes, and passion for sports. He will truly be missed by all those who knew him.
Please pray for my family as we begin this healing process.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


I'm still in Michigan.
My dad is still in the ICU. He has limited brain activity. His body appears to be shutting down. Is probably a matter of time. Your thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

positive vibes

At the hospital in Michigan. Dad had a coronary embolism, went into cardiac arresst. They did cpr for 40 minutes and got a pulse. He's on life support.

Please send positive vibes for my family. We have some tough decisions to make in the next few days.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Potty Mouth

I just said SHART in front of my kids.
I was trying to say start/shut down and it came out shart.
Thankfully none of my kids know what it means. However, my wonderful teaching assistant does. She laughed out loud. So did I. I have a horrible time with bathroom humor. 
 mom-- if you don't know what it means, google it. I'm not explainin' it on here!

Crazy Cat People..

This morning on my way to work I saw a man driving with his cat sitting on his shoulder. Literally, the cat was wrapped around his neck. While he was driving.
Driving. With a cat. Sitting on his neck.
Does this strike anyone else as weird? It reminds me of the people who had a cat in their back window. Seriously. Who drives around with their cat in their car? That's just asking for trouble. Wait until someone honks and scares the bejeeezus out of the cat and the cat jumps, digs its claws in your neck, and scratches the crap-o-la out of him. It's almost as dangerous at texting while driving.

Crazy cat people.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Christmas Trees

Not that I have to worry about that this year. You know, Punta Cana and all.

The Boy, Maryland BFF, and Maryland BFF's husband and I were all discussing Christmas decorations. We had the great Christmas Tree Debate. You know, what kind of lights, bulbs, decorations, etc.

The Boy prefers colored lights (preferably the big ones, you know.. circa 1983) with many different colored ornaments and tinsel. Lots of tinsel. There can never be enough tinsel, lights, or color.

I don't.

Give me a tree with white lights, red, green, and silver bulbs (with glitter, natch). A star on top, maybe.

The Boy just couldn't believe I would sacrifice the 1980's lights AND the 1980's bulbs for white lights and tri-color bulbs. Um.. hello? Has he met me? I like things just so. I do not. I repeat. Do NOT like clutter. He thinks only a grinch would give up the color. I believe his exact words were, "You're a scrooge."

He also made mention of a silver tree. I about fainted. My poor heart can't deal with that insanity.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Why meetings are the bane of my existence...

I was in a meeting all morning and it was a pretty tough one. It was about school improvement, which is a really interesting topic for me, but it took me away from my little ones. Apparently I missed some awesome comments and a temper tantrum of epic proportions. I'm sad they didn't save it for me. Don't they know I love their comments?

Which is why meetings are the bane of my existence. It means I'm lacking blog fodder. No kids = no funny stories.

Buuuuuuut... on a brighter note, two weeks from now I'll be relaxing on the beach in Punta Cana, enjoying some adult beverages, sans kids. No blog material, but plenty of sunshine, relaxation, and margaritas. Yes, folks, I'll be spending Christmas in the DR (that's Dominican Republic, but apparently the cool kids call it DR and you KNOW I'm a cool kid).

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Today I ran a 5k. Without any training. Seriously, zero training. Unless you count tossing back a few beers last night or chasing the dog in the yard.

I ran it in 37 minutes with a 9 year old girl by my side.

It was 34 degrees. I was cold.

Now I"m inspired. I just need to get some cold weather running pants. Any runners out there who may have some suggestions? I wore Under Armor leggings with cotton pants over them and I was cold. I don't know if it was because it was really windy or what. But it was COLD.


Friday, December 3, 2010


I have a little guy who is more than a little obsessed with the Titanic. I have to answer questions all day long about the Titanic. How did it sink? Why did it sink? Why would you go on a boat that is going to sink? How come they didn't see the iceberg? What is this? What happened to all the people who were on the boat? Did they swim home?
Wash. Rinse. Repeat. All in the matter of an hour.
The awesome teacher in me tried to do a big lesson about the Titanic. I thought I answered all the questions he had. And, really, I did. Until he asked them over and over again. For 5 days straight.
I asked him why he keeps asking me when he knows the answer.
He said, "I just like hearing you talk about the Titanic. It's like you were there."
He's still asking. My awesome social worker is doing a social skills lesson right now and he's still talking about the Titanic. All of his examples include the Titanic.


Grad School is kicking my behind. For some reason, I just can't seem to get into the hang of getting work accomplished. I used to go to the library to get everything done, but I don't care for the library near me and I stress out about leaving Zoey at home all day and all through the evening.
I was tooted on again yesterday. This one happened to smell like rotten eggs. Apparently when kids look at me, they think, "I should really pass gas on this lady." His excuse? He didn't know it was going to smell. Um.. hello? We still don't squeeze out a warm one on anyone. Duh. Maybe I can convince the social worker to do a social skills lesson on farting etiquette.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ten on Tuesday.. er... Wednesday

Ten on Tuesday! (even though it's Wednesday
via Ashley's Antics

1. Where are you from? Have you lived there your whole life?
Currently, I live in Maryland. But I'm originally from Michigan. I lived between two streets that were a mile apart for the first 18 years of my life. Then I attended Western Michigan University (GO BRONCOS!) in Kalamazoo, MI. While in college I spent a semester in Heidelberg, Germany completing my internship and then moved back to Kalamazoo for a semester and then headed off to good old Maryland. I've been here for almost 5 years.

2. How would you classify your clothing style?
I'd say I'm more preppy than anything. Not too much prep, but enough to get it right. I love cardigans, skirts, and bows. Give me ruffles and I'll think I've died and gone to heaven.

3. What kind of car do you drive?
Ford Escape and I love it. I used to hate SUV's, mainly because they are gas guzzlers. But, I was in a minor fender bender last year and my Escape really held its own. Not a scratch. I like being up a bit higher and feeling secure.

4. What would your dream home look like if you could have it (or already do!)?
My dream home would be anything with a crafstman style. I love the look of straight lines and simple features. It would have plenty of warm tones inside and some great architectural elements. Structure makes me swoon.

5. Do you have kids, and if so, how many and how old were you when you had them?
No kids. Maybe someday, but we'll see.

6. What is your favorite hobby?
Reading and being crafty. I also enjoy shopping.

7. Are you going to have any New Year's resolutions for 2011?
I'm going to try to show my appreciation more and try not to take things for granted. I'm going to be thankful for the little things and laugh a bit more.

8. What is something, if anything, that you'd want to change about yourself?
My waistline. It's just not the same anymore.

9. What is something that you love about yourself?
I love my sense of humor-- I'm sarcastic and witty.

10. Pick one of the following: Someone to cook for you, someone to do your laundry, or someone to do your dishes.
Definitely someone to do the laundry. My dryer is nothing but a nuisance and often takes more than an hour to dry a small load of laundry. Having someone to do my laundry would make my life that much easier. It would also eliminate the piles of laundry all over my floor. Yuck.