Really?

Here's a few ways people have found my blog recently... I couldn't make this up if I wanted to!

My favorites:

i trashed my family during my midlife crisis-- really? How did that go for you? Did you throw them away in the trash or did you make them drink a lot? I'm confused.

kid smell feet-- yeah, they tend to do that.

midlife crisis - do not know what to do with my life-- I'm not sure you're going to find the answer here...

rhyme word for crisis-- how about slices?

Midlife. Dun Dun Dun-- yeah, that's my theme song.

crisis, vocabulary-- um.. I'm not sure what the vocabulary of a crisis is.. I'm sure it involves, "Help! Help! I'm in a crisis!" Or maybe slurring of the speech and looking like a rabid animal? At least that's how it always looks in my head.

Not Me! Monday...

Here's the drill... write a bunch of things you didn't (but actually did) do!

I most certainly did not do a little dance when I found out I could get a wireless connection while babysitting-- I mean, I'm supposed to be working on my paper. I'm totally more responsible than that.

Not me! Nope, not me! I did not avoid a co-worker today who I knew was having a bad day and just wanted to whine about her kids. I'm nicer than that. (No Kellie, it wasn't you!)

I most certainly do not get jealous every time I walk into the house I babysit in. I mean, just because it's perfect and everything I want my house to be, I wouldn't be jealous. Jealousy is a useless emotion.

I most certainly did not go and buy a pair of work out pants and a hoodie because I didn't feel like babysitting in my work clothes. I'm more responsible than that. (In my defense, I always come home with drool, spit up, or poop on me.. I don't want to ruin my work clothes)

No way! Not me... I did not stop working on my paper yesterday because I didn't think I liked the idea of finishing it before Wednesday. Procrastinator? Not me.

I most certainly did not take offense when my student patted my stomach and said, "I love squishing your tummy! It's SOOOOOO squishy!" I mean, really. He's 7.. he doesn't know I'm fat, right?

Nope! Not me. I didn't get winded carrying the 3 year old up two flights of stairs. I'm totally in better shape than that. Really.

Seriously, none of those were me. Honest.

65 and stuck inside...

WARNING: Pity Party

Yes, it's 65 degrees outside and I'm stuck inside writing papers, working on a project, and writing progress reports. To make it worse? I'm at the library doing it.

The good thing? The library closes in 40 minutes, so I'm outta here soon!

Eeks.

Why, why, why do I have NO motivation for anything right now? I have a paper, a presentation, progress reports, portfolio, and project (ALL p's? Weird..) to work on this weekend. Half of them are due by the end of the week... perhaps I should be working?

Instead? I'm sitting in the living room blogging and hoping that hubby will ask if I want to take a nap because then I'd have an excuse to not attack all those p words.

Shoot. I might actually have to get something done otherwise a panic attack MAY happen. No one wants to deal with that, now do they?

Who Knew?

Today was one of those days. You know, the kind where someone looks at you funny and you'll either a) burst into tears, or b) rip their head off. I went back and forth between the two.

Apparently kids can sense that. Of course, it might have been because when someone said my name five times in the course of 2 seconds I snapped and said, "That's it! I'm changing my name. I will no longer answer to Mrs. L." And the little guy said, "Well, what will you answer to? I have to know what to call you when I need your help or want to give you a hug." How about that for a little wake up call that you're not really being nice teacher. Then my little darling walked up and gave me a hug and said, "I could tell you needed that. I'm a pretty good mime (yes, you read that correctly) reader."

Shoot. I thought I could fool them. I had to tell them that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and that's why I was a little grumpy today.

Later on I snapped at a little one and he said, "Ugh. Mrs. L, you sound just like my mom right now. Can you wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow, please?"

Sure thing, little man. That's why I'm going to bed at 8:30 tonight.

I might even try sleeping on hubby's side of the bed. You know, so I can wake up on the right side.

Carrots and other inspiring thoughts..

Things have been quite the adventure in the classroom this week..

We are studying animals using camouflage to help hunt and keep them hidden from predators. We were discussing how the use of camouflage helps them to blend in with their surroundings. One little guy proudly proclaimed that he didn't have a hard time seeing the animals because, "I eat my carrots!" I was quite confused.. he was able to clarify for me, "You see, Mrs. L, carrots help you see better! I eat mine, so that's why I can see those animals. Man.. don't you know anything? I mean, all these animals need is more carrots, then they can hunt as good as me."

Duh. My bad. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I think his dad just says that so he'll eat his carrots.

Another little guy? After being the "weatherman" for us during morning meeting proudly wipes his hands and says, "I think my work here is done!" Yes, you're right. It is. He later told me, "Mrs. L.. it's because I'm smarter than the average bear!" Totally in a Yogi Bear voice. Sweet dude, you are smarter than the average bear. If only you could stop throwing temper tantrums and annoying me. I'm sure Yogi doesn't annoy his teachers. Every.Single.Day.

And, lastly.. "Mrs. L, why do they say the moon is made out of cheese? I mean, really.. cheese floating in outer space? Now THAT doesn't make any sense." This is after he told me that he flew to the moon last night and brought back a moon rock for all of us to see. I mean, because that totally makes sense.

Seriously, these kids are killing me. I have the hardest time not laughing at them.

OH! One more. One very upset little guy says, "Man! You're all driving me crazy! I wouldn't drive you crazy!" You're right, little man.. you never drive me crazy. Ever. Promise.

Come on now..

Two times in 24 hours I've had to go to the bathroom really badly. We're talking have to go like three minutes ago, gotta go. (a little side note: I absolutely HATE going to the bathroom in public. I once made my parents drive home early from dinner at a restaurant that is 45 minutes from home. I really don't like going in public)

Well, both times I had to go involved someone standing in the way. The first time? Shopping. Left to go home and of course, the furnace guy was in our basement bathroom working on the furnace. (we are re-doing our upstairs bathroom so that toilet was not an option) I was rocking back to keep from going. I'm not kidding when I say that I almost went in the back yard.

Second time? Target. Shopping (again). Finally got up the nerve to go. Check out and proceed to walk at a rapid pace to the bathroom. Bam! Ran right into the closed sign. Seriously?

I drive home at a pretty rapid speed. Walk in the door, greet hubby and run downstairs. As I'm running down the stairs he shouts, "Make sure the toilet works!" Wait.. what? So I calmly, er, not so calmly, ask him what I should do if it doesn't. His thoughts? "Go in the back yard, I guess?"

Seriously? Back yard? What.. is this 1896?