Poop..

Poop, poop, and more poop.

I had a poopy (I want to say a stronger word but this is a friendly place..) day at a meeting, then back to school for complete chaos due to my absence in the morning, and home to poop and lots of it.

Little Miss Zoey decided she would get into a homemade fudge kit I received as a gift. In that fudge kit was a bag of chocolate chips. Chocolate and dogs don't mix. Someone had a bit of a tummy ache. She threw up in the middle of the night, so I assumed (wrongfully) she was in the clear. Apparently not. Came home to a poopy mess in the living room. So after cleaning up the "poop" in my classroom, I came home to clean up more poop.

All of this on the heels of the anniversary of my separation from my ex. It was around this time last year that all of that poopiness went down. I'm a bit emotional and that just put me over the edge. I shed a few tears, ate a lot of pizza with the Maryland BFF (who is pregnant, so she was totally cool with devouring an entire pizza between the two of us and joined me in the tears) before taking my anger out on the kickball field.

Zoey's better. I'm better. And tomorrow is a new day. Oh and my birthday is Saturday. Booyah.

for those of you counting, I said poop 10 times in this post. bet you can't beat that.

Adventures in the Outdoors..

My friend Jennie and I took her kids down to a river to take them swimming. We had a blast watching the kids run in and out of the water, enjoying the freedom of being outdoors and playing in the water.



However, there are a few things I realized about spending an afternoon with kids... sometimes there are minor "inconveniences" and you have to think on your feet to help them out. Thankfully Jennie and I both grew up in the country, so we were able to help them out.



First incident? Kid A has to pee and turns to Jennie and says, "Where's the bathroom?" Her response? "All around. Pick a spot. Make sure you watch where you're peeing." He looks at her like she has five heads. But, he did it.



Next incident? Kid B shouts, "Mommy! I have to go pooooooop!" Jennie and I had to make a game time decision. We told him to plop a squat. He, also, looked at us like we had five heads. The squatting wasn't too bad, but when he asked how he was going to wipe? Jennie handed him a leaf. It was quite hilarious.

Not so hilarious? He pooped in his pants a little bit later and shouts to us, "Mommy! I pooped in my pants.. what do I do?" Mom's great idea? Take them off and get in the river. That was a great idea, until he swims out to us and says "Oh! It fell out of my bathing suit." We assumed it was floating upstream, right? Fast forward about five minutes and I feel something squishing under my heel. Yes, I stepped in poo.


Darn kids.

True Love

I know I married my soul mate. Allow me to explain...

My mother and I have this wonderful attitude about shopping- basically, if we can justify it.. we needed it. We also have a theory about parking spots- if you park close, you're meant to get a lot of things because you don't have to carry it as far. However, if you park far away, you're meant to get a lot of things because you had to park far away & it just isn't fair.

Hubby hasn't always agreed with this philosophy. However, he finally saw the light.

Yesterday, puppies stepped in poo and tracked it in the house and onto our sheets and bedspread. One might think, "Ugh. I'll just bleach it and all will be well." Well.. I had a hard time thinking that. I could only think about sleeping in poo stained sheets and I knew it wouldn't be good. So, I bit the bullet and went to Home Goods to grab some new sheets (to replace the others I would be throwing away, of course) and a new bedspread- both bright white so I can bleach them if the dogs get dirt or something spills. I was a little worried about what hubby would say.

Fear not! He totally agreed with me and even stated he would never sleep on sheets that had poo on them at one time.

I love that man. For more reasons than justifying a shopping spree, of course. But that was the icing on the cake. AND he let me change my flight to go home a day earlier. I think he likes me!

You found me how?

Um.. I've been doing a little checking up on my lovely readers. You know, just want to know how you're gettineg here. First of all, I have to thank Ms. Belle for sending so many readers my way! You rock! And.. 20-something? You're awesome, too.

Now for the strange ways ya'll are finding me...

1. midlife crisis killing me you might want to talk to someone about that. Seriously.
2. this is why I'm hot what? This old thing? Yeah.. that's why I'm hot.
3. funny midlife crisis sleeping with 22 year old Hmm.. is the midlife crisis funny or is sleeping with the 22 year old funny? I'm confused.
4. bear eat carrot dog eat poop? Oh no.. that's just my dog. What's up with the choppy sentence? cat eat broccoli? mouse make house?
5. crisis marley yeah, that was a crisis. Tragic, actually.
6. poop kid yeah, that's what they do
7. puppy poop midlife crisis really? Is that all I talk about on here? puppies, poop, and midlife crisis? Eeks. And here I thought I was more classy than that.

Gross.

I have really horrible luck these days when it comes to poop.

Yesterday? Big Dog was eating something and I yelled at her to drop it. She did (first time she's really ever listened to me!) and I picked it up. Frozen poop. DIS.GUST.ING.

Today? Babysitting Boy had an upset tummy. I changed his pull up and got him ready for bed. On the way downstairs with the pull up in my hand, I noticed a warm sensation on my hand. I looked down just in time to see it oozing through my fingers. Again, DIS.GUST.ING.

Pretty awesome. Not.

PS.. Blogger doesn't think that disgusting is spelled incorrectly when I put it like that. Seriously? Weird...