One of these things is not like the other...

This... this is Zoey's bed.

This... is my bed.

What's wrong with this picture?

And yes, this is what I come home to every.single.day. An empty puppy bed and a full human bed. It's no wonder I wake up with dog hair stuck to my chapstick.

On a completely unrelated note, anyone else out there with the cutest dog in person who does not photograph well? Zoey is the cutest dog in person (I have many people who would agree with this and some of them are unbiased) but she does not photograph well. She either looks mean or drugged. Anyone else have this problem?

Overheard...

Conversation between two seven year olds...

 

Little Dude: This might take a thousand years!

 

Little Man: You'll be an old man by then.

 

Little Dude: Good, then we could do man-things.

 

Little Man: Man things?

 

Little Dude: Yeah! Like drink beer or look at girls.

 

 

Things..

Things that make me smile...

Flowers from my parents, just to tell me they love me.

A man walking his lawn mower.   Zoey-- 'nuff said.

Things that don't make me smile.....

An empty plan book for next week.

                       The piles of books I have yet to go through.

8 Year Olds..

8 year olds are quite a unique breed of little ones.

Me: Hey, Little Miss Diva, quit chewing on your hair.

Little Miss Diva (LMD): I like it. It makes my tummy feel better.

Me: How does it make your tummy feel better to eat your hair?

LMD: It's like a dog eating grass, but I eat my hair.

Me: Wait, you're like a dog?

LMD: Woof. Grrrr. Woof.

Me: I guess you are like a dog. Nice dog impression.

LMD: I've been practicing.

True Love?

This beauty was waiting for me on my desk this morning. Seems one of my little guys has taken quite a liking to me. I assure you, I do not look that frightening in real life and I certainly do not wear a hula skirt. I also have feet and normal hands. They are kind of large, but the drawing is not to scale.

If only I could find boys over the age of 8 to fall desperately in love with me... I kid, I kid.

First Day

Wow! The first day not only flew by, it was FABULOUS! My kids were great, my new Teaching Assistant is seriously like my right arm. It helps that we've worked together in the past and we're friends. Seriously, I think she completed my sentences every time I talked to her.

Funny of the day:

"Ms. L.. we doing science today?" said Little Man.

I replied, "Nope, social studies this week. Science next week."

"Ugh. I didn't come to school to learn social studies!" he shouted.

Um, welcome to the real world my friend. You have a lifetime full of disappointments ahead of you, get used to it.

My only complaint from today is that my feet are killing me. I forgot what it was like to stand for 8 hours straight. Oh, and I'm really tired of hearing myself talk.

Crabby.

I'm crabby. REALLY crabby. We're talking I-could-bite-your-head-off-if-you-look-at-me-wrong crabby. On a scale of 1-10, I'm about a 9.5.

The really sad part? I'm not 100% sure why I'm crabby. It might be because plans fell through. It could be because it's Friday night and I've spent all evening holed up with limited interaction with actual human beings. But, I kind of think it's because school is starting and I'm a nervous wreck. I'm a nervous wreck because I'm the only returning teacher in my program so all eyes are on me, and I've taken on some more leadership within my school so even more eyes are on me. Plus, I'm teaching 3rd graders this year.. and we all know third grade is a tested grade.

It's no fun being crabby.

Annoying.

You know what's annoying about wearing glasses? Other than the fact that when you take them off, you can't see a darn thing. Yes, I'm practically blind. Seriously. Your eyelashes. That's what's annoying.

I can't stand when your eyelashes rub on the lens and your mascara makes smudges all over. Seriously? Why do my glasses make me hate my long eyelashes? Some people pay lots of money to have long, thick eyelashes. Instead, I'm left hating them. I cleaned my glasses no fewer than 96 times today. In fact, in one meeting (a 2 hour meeting), I cleaned them 5 times. I know this because I counted instead of listening to someone tell me about how to be a better teacher. I know, I know.. I should have listened.

Sidenote: Zoey just fell asleep sitting up. Her head nodded and fell on my arm. Weird.

I Remembered...

I'm barely surviving, ya'll!

School started this week and I was super excited until I remembered everything I have to do. Then I remembered I'm the only returning teacher in our program. Then I remembered this is the first year I haven't been able to have my room set up at least a week prior.

But.. then I remembered, it will all get done if I take a deep breath and stop worrying so darn much.

Why is it when you type a word over and over, it begins to look wrong? I had to go back and check every remembered I typed!

I'd Make Fun of Me

I went car shopping with a gal pal and we parked on a really steep hill. As I was freaking out about how to park on the black diamond hill, she was all "Just use your emergency brake, that's what it's there for! Times like these, when you're on a big hill and you don't want your car to roll."
Okay. Easy enough. She pulled the brake and we were on our merry way.

Until we went to leave. I have a little lot of anxiety about a few lot of things in life, so started to panic about the emergency brake. I had to stage whisper to Em across the parking lot, "Hey! Em! How do you turn off the parking brake?"

Dude who sold us the car (and had to listen to us cackle like a bunch of school girls while driving down the road) looked at me and gave me the dumb blonde look. Em also gave me the dumb blonde look as if to say, "Seriously? How do you not know that?!" Car salesman guy then walked over to make sure I was able to get the brake off and move the car.

I shrugged and said, "What?! I've never used it before! It's not like I park on steep hills everyday.."

I realized how stupid I sounded, called my mother and told her that if that car salesman had a blog, he'd for sure blog about me because I totally would have done the same thing. If I were him, I'd make fun of me. 

Nerd Alert..

Mom: "Hey (insert nickname here).. I haven't talked to you in a few days. What's up with that?"

Me: Um.. Well... I've been busy.

Mom: "Oh yeah?"

Me: Well.. actually.. I was almost done with my book on tape and I really wanted to finish it. So, every time I was in the car, I couldn't call you because I was listening to the book.

(It should also be known that every.single.time I drove somewhere, I took the long way AND I would listen for an extra couple of minutes after I turned my car off.)

Hodge Podge

Well, apparently Jessica thinks I'm neglecting my blog. So.. here's a look at some pictures I took on my phone recently.

The pie I made for The Boy's roommate. His initials are MJ. You should probably know that I'm a domestic goddess and this entire pie is homemade. Well... maybe not entirely homemade. Semi-homemade. Okay, not homemade at all. It was pre-made pie crust and pre-made pie filling. But the cut outs were all me.

This? This is how Zoey chose to ride on part of the 10 hour road trip to Michigan. You can tell I'm pretty happy in the picture. She was shaking approximately 99% of the trip. The only time she didn't shake and pant heavily? When I let her out of the car or when she was on my lap. We will NEVER make this trip together again, unless someone else is in the car for her to ride on their lap. It's annoying driving with a 30 lb. dog on your lap. Not to mention the dog hair.

Oh Oberon, how I've missed you! If you're not from Michigan, you probably don't know about this lovely micro-brew. It's brewed in my college town and it's simply amazing. Don't think I didn't buy two 6-packs to bring back to Maryland. Oberon is the official sign of summer in Michigan.

Remember those two six-packs I mentioned? Here they are in the fridge. It's a shame that I've had them in there for two days and haven't opened a single one. I blame it on the fact that I don't have anyone to drink with. Maryland BFF is pregnant so she's out of the running. The Boy is working midnights, so he's out. And.. beyond that? I don't really have any friends.

This is my fridge. The only things in there are beer, sweet tea, hot dogs, butter, eggs, cheese and bagels. Yes, you read that correctly. No milk. No bread. No pop. No water. I'll be changing that in about 20 minutes. There's also tomato soup. Why do I have tomato soup but no fruit? Blame it on being out of town... yeah..

I'm a Little Late..

I'm a little late for the start of "Teacher Week", hosted by the Lovely Babbling Abby but I want so desperately to participate.. so I'm breaking the rules and I'm going to post yesterday's subject today.

Ten Things About Me as a Teacher:

1.. I will start my 5th year of teaching this August and I'm still just as excited/nervous to start the school year.

2... I always pick out my first day of school with students outfit at least a week before the first day with students.

3... My favorite part about teaching first/second grade is teaching the kids to read. I love when they come to me as non-readers or barely-readers and leave me as full blown readers. I love the growth they make both academically and emotionally. They come to me as babies and leave me as third graders! It's amazing.

4... I LOVE teaching math. I wish our math block was longer than it is. The things I could do with 2 hours to teach math! There's something about teaching math that gets me so excited and my kids have learned to love math, too. They get just as excited for math as I do. Last year I had a student write our principal a letter asking her if it would be okay to skip language arts and just learn math.

5... I loathe teaching social studies. I think it's because I already focus so much on being good citizens and social skills, that by the time social studies comes around, I'm bored with it. And I'm not a history buff by any means.

6.. I teach students who are emotionally disturbed or have some pretty severe behaviors that interfere with their ability to be educated in a general education setting. My classroom is a multi-grade self-contained classroom that is usually filled with boys.

7... I want to be a principal someday and I'm halfway through my master's in school improvement/leadership. This summer I was a site director for summer school and it was great practice. It provided me with great opportunities to see if being a principal really is something I want to do. It sealed the deal.

8.. I'm a huge nerd when it comes to school. I read, read, read anything I can about being a better educator, leader, and student. That's probably why I enjoy taking grad classes so much.

9.. I was a horrible teacher my first year of teaching. Horrible. I had no idea what I'm doing. I've improved over the years and now I think I'm a pretty decent teacher.

10.. Sometimes I feel like I can write an IEP in my sleep. (IEP's are individualized education plans-- a sort of road map for education students in special education. It outlines their strengths/weaknesses and how we are going to educate them. and it's a legal document) I can take one look at an IEP and have it basically memorized. I can also write goals/objectives for just about anything. Seriously.

Dear Ohio and Pennsylvania

You suck. No really, you suck. Driving through you is about as much fun as watching paint dry. While I'm glad that I finally made it to Michigan, I shudder at the thought of driving back through you in 6 days. Seriously. We're talking shaking in the corner, sucking my thumb, type anxiety about this.

If you could eliminate the endless miles of straight-aways, the obnoxious number of lanes (2 in PA! 2.. that's ubsurd!), and the length of your toll roads, I'd be a happy camper. I mean, is it too much to ask to give a girl something to look at on her 10 hour drive? I didn't think so. Even something as silly as a barn. Or a cow farm. ANYTHING. I beg of you.

I'm already dreading next Monday because of you Ohio and Pennsylvania.

Sincerely,
Lori