Monday, January 30, 2012

Say what?!

I may or may not have said the name for a male chicken (c0ck) and the f bomb today. Before 12:00, no less.
Both were total accidents and I'm not even sure the kids heard me or understood what the big deal was.

I'm TOTALLY in line for Teacher of the Year. Totally.

God is in my heart...

Little Big Man was reading with me the other day when he got right in my face and told me, "God is in my heart!" I smiled and asked him to keep reading. Not because I'm insensitive, but mainly because we were short on time and I really needed him to finish reading. Also because he's reeeeeally good about getting me off task and then we completely run out of time to finish whatever it is we've started.

He then ran over to another adult in the room and loudly told her, "God is in my heart!" and then quickly ran away.

The kid she was working with said, "What's God?". And being the super-awesome assistant she is, she referred him to me. You know, because I totally have the answer to that one and certainly can talk about it in school. Right? Wrong.

So Little Man came over to me and asked me, "What's God?!". Georgie was totally freaked out about this and SCREAMED, "God is not a WHAT, he's a WHO!"

Oh my.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Ninja kicks, big mouth, and attempting to teach America's youth about the importance of MLK, Jr.

Ya'll, I've been busy. Seriously bi-zy. We're talking running 3 days a week, finishing up grad school, and totally attempting to organize the mass chaos in my classroom (AKA, I'm a circus clown and damn proud of it!).  I've tripled my class size in just 4 weeks. I left for Christmas with 2 and came back to 4, now I'm at 6. The good news for all of you? I shall now properly blog because I'll actually have something to talk about.

One of my new friends, we shall call him Ted, is all boy. And he has the attention span of a gnat. Which totally keeps me on my toes, but makes it virtually impossible to teach him. He makes me laugh about every twenty seconds because you just never know what might come out of his mouth.

So the other day, Ted does this amazing ninja kick of sorts, which sort of resembles a karate kick but he swears it's a ninja kick, and almost knocks over about 12 pieces of furniture. He immediately begins complaining about his arm hurting him. And I'm all, "Duuuuuude, did you learn a lesson from that? I mean you almost knocked over the computer." To which he responds, "Yeah, you should always stretch before doing a ninja kick!".

Lesson learned.

I've also added a new young lady to the mix. She's a barrel of fun. Seriously. In fact, we'll refer to her as Curious Georgianne, or Georgie for short. She lives up to her name, for many reasons. 

So, we were doing an experiment comparing green, white, and brown eggs to prepare for our kick off to study MLK, Jr. As we were "investigating" our eggs, I handed the students hand lenses. As soon as she picked that bad boy up, she was looking at everything around the room, commenting on how everything is bigger. Then she panned to my face, and loudly (she doesn't do ANYTHING quietly) proclaims, "Oh my goodness! You have a REALLY BIG MOUTH!".

Thanks, Georgie. I could say the same about you.

As we continued our "investigation" we examined the eggs, noticing they were different on the outside. Then we cracked them open and they were the same-- just like humans! (all together now, awwwww!) We cooked them up and saw they tasted the same, too. As I was trying to bring it all together, I asked the group how eggs were like humans? Georgie loudly (I told you, she doesn't do anything quietly) explains that eggs are just like humans because "we both came from a boy and a girl.. and began as small eggs... and.."


I cut her off, summarized it on my own and moved along. I can only imagine if I had let her go. I would have a lot of parent phone calls asking me to explain that one.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sight Word Shout Out..

As I was doing a sight word assessment on my little fellas, Mr. Wiggles (one of my new students-- I'll elaborate more later, but his name on here is totally fitting) read the word hot.
"That's what you are, Ms. L. Hot. The hottest teacher, ever."

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Sorry for the absence. No excuses. Just life. I'm training for a half marathon and, well.. that sh!t just gets in the way. I use that term because, well, I'm not a runner and therefore it's more like torture than pleasure. So, it's preeeeeety sh!tty.

I will leave you this little gem of a conversation between me and my beloved running buddy (i.e. the lovely "friend" who twisted my arm to run 13.1 miles. Which, by the way, happens to be approximately 13 miles longer than I prefer to run!) on facebook. Obviously the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Long Legged Lucy: Note to self: if you run through mud and then allow your shoes to dry but do not clean them off, you will have mud in your carpet. Genius.
Me: I made the same mistake. Except Nicole told me to jump up and down, causing there to be three times as much mud on the wood floors. Equally as dumb.

Long Legged Lucy: Did you have a total freak out that it was dog poop at first? Because I did. Then I remembered that we walked up that hill.

Me: I was more freaked that my shoes were muddy at any given point. Then I remembered it made us legit runners and I wasn't sad anymore.

We totally aren't legit runners (well, she is but I'm just a poser..) but we felt like it after completing 5 miles on a blistery Saturday. I should also note that for the first 3 miles I complained non-stop about having to make a pit stop to go #2 until she finally caved and let me go. Something about running makes me have to poop. Weird.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Teacher's Rant...

My life has been turned upside down at the land of chaos. You see, I
started the year off with 2 students. Yes, you read that correctly. I
was teaching 2 students each day. With an assistant. And an intern.
(As wonderful as that sounds, it's actually not so great. Try being
the conductor of a circus that contains more adults than kids-- adults
kinda suck sometimes.)

We added two more to the mix. Chaos has ensued.

It's actually kind of a lovely sort of chaos, as I enjoy a challenge
and these two new kids are sure to provide that. Also? The originals,
as I lovingly refer to them, are a little bitter about having to share
my attention. Turns out all of these kids really only want the
attention from the teacher, me. Nobody else. Just me.

Crap. There's only one of me and 4 of them. They are all attention
whores and demand my attention RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

But the best part? They actually talk. A lot. (again, normally not
something I would enjoy.. but ya'll.. it's been so quiet and quiet
means no blogging material, duh!) And because of that talking, I can
assure you I will have blog material.

Just as soon as I can get my head above water.

Auto-correct FAIL.

Actual text...

Sorry! I'm at a baby shower. I have to cancel genitals night.

Wait! Not genitals. Fajitas. Fajitas! Food. Not body parts.

Made all the better because it was to The Boy. I'm wondering how long
it will take to live this one down... Oi vey.