Friday, June 25, 2010


No internet. No cable. And I just broke my shoe walking into the doctor's office.

Good news, though. Mommy is here and almost everything is put away from the move.

But the shoe?? It makes me angry. Cute strappy black flats that are work appropriate--they are hard to find.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The World is Ending...

No cable/internet for a week. I might just poke my eyeballs out. Seriously, what am I going to do without internet? I can handle the cable-- there's a way to fix that, just watch lots and lots of movies. But no cable? Seriously, the world might end and I won't even know because I can't check facebook or msnbc to find it out.

If you don't hear from me by next Saturday, please send a search party. And be sure the search party has access to internet.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Squirrel Update..

Zoey got her first taste of squirrel fur. She actually caught one by the tail, but only got a mouthful of fur. I about died. (I suppose the squirrel felt the same way..)

Apparently she's learning how to catch squirrels. She sneaks up on them while they are on the ground and chases them when they are far away from the tree. She's faster than they are (that's the Whippet in her) so she has the advantage.

Wow. That was a close call. Seriously, what would I have done if she caught it and killed it? I know it's natural for animals to chase and eat each other, but this would have been a domestic animal killing a "wild" animal. I use the term wild loosely because those suckers have no fear and see humans all the time. Seriously, I think I could pet them if I wanted to, which I wouldn't want to because those little jerks like to drop nuts on my head. Jerks.

UPDATE: Zoey has a cut on her leg. Now? Now it's on like Donkey Kong. Stupid squirrel hurt my baby. Nobody hurts my baby.


Dear Mr. or Mrs. Squirrel,

I'm sorry that I often let Zoey run after you, but did you really need to look me in the eye and drop a nut on my head? I mean really. That's not cool. She will never catch you and I really only let her chase after you because of this. I don't want to deal with a dead squirrel any more than you do.

Stop throwing nuts at us. It's not cool.

Lori and Zoey

Thursday, June 17, 2010


The World's Worst Morning turned into a Good Morning, with a very unlikely cast of characters.

The villain today will be played by none other than Little Miss Zoey (I know, strange...she's a princess) and the hero will be played by my ex. (Wait! It's not what you think..)

Zoey pooped, if you can even call it that, all over the living room in the middle of the night so I woke up to about seven runny areas of feces on my sparkling hardwood floors. Seriously, they are sparkling-- I just super cleaned them. So instead of sipping a nice glass of coffee and eating breakfast after I woke up, I was cleaning up after the dog with an occasional dry heave thrown in for good measure. My annoyance with her somehow reminded me that I needed to find someone to watch her this weekend, as my original dog sitters are going out of town and my backup will be on vacation (that's what I get for knowing so many teachers-- they are all on vacation!). In a near panic, I decide that I'm going to text my ex. After all, she is his dog, too. Turns out, he's available and was able to save the day. Or at the very least, the morning.

I'm so lucky to have a decent relationship with my ex. I know not everyone can say that. It really makes dealing with all of the emotions that much easier when I get to take hate out of the equation.

And now? Now I'm off to do math all day! The nerd inside me is super excited. Seriously.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


I thought long and hard about doing a play-by-play of the day because I just knew it was going to be My little angel students cannot handle change and a lot of them have some attachment issues while others have some separation issues. It's actually quite a comical combo.
Here are some highlights:
"Ugh! Lil Mr. Squirmy is making me so angry I just want to growl!"
"Ms. L, why do the boys tell you they hate you but now they tell you they love you? I think they're confused. Are all boys confused or just them?" Oh Lil Miss Drama Queen, it's all boys.. they're really confused.
"Ms. L, what are you going to do all summer when we're not here? Isn't summer boring without kids?" notsomuch
"You know how sometimes I make bad choices? If I promise to not make bad choices, will you be my mommy?" hellz no! I can barely tolerate you for the 8 hours I have you in class. I'd die if I had to live with you!
School's out for the summer!

Monday, June 14, 2010

I can see the light..

Tomorrow is my last day with the kiddos. Part of me is sad.. but an even larger part is ready to bust out the champagne as soon as they leave. Seriously.

As I reflect, though, on this school year, I realize that I have grown a lot both personally and professionally.

Personally, this school year has been pretty rough. My marriage ended, I moved out of my house (and on my own for the first time), and I lost my grandmother. There have been some pretty dark times, but I've learned a lot about myself through these challenges. Life truly is a journey. And through this journey, I have made some lasting friendships that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Professionally, it's been one of my toughest years as well. I have worked with some tough co-workers, challenging students, and an insane number of students were added to my class throughout the year. I started with 4 and ended with 10. I also added two assistants, meaning I was managing 10 students and 3 adults. That's a whole lot of crazy in one classroom. Again, I've learned a lot about myself as a teacher, as a woman, and as a leader. All of these things have not only challenged me, but changed me as a teacher and as a person. A change for the better, without a doubt. Although it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies, it truly has been a time for growth.

Bring on the champagne. This teacher is ready for summer vacation!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Heated Debate

I just had a pretty heated debate with two of my students.
The little girl (who drew the picture) explains that it's a drawing of her wearing a tu-tu. I can totally see that.
Her little friend (a boy) seems to think it's a drawing of her with a fart bubble behind her. He explains further, "When you fart, you release gas from your bottom. I really think the gas for a girl should be a pink color because, well, it's coming from a girl and girls like pink. So if it was a cartoon drawing, which it is because you didn't draw real arms and real legs and there aren't any ballerina shoes so really it's a cartoon not a real picture of you doing ballerina stuff, you would have a gas balloon coming from behind you. So I'm pretty sure it's a cartoon of you farting. Really." I can actually kind of see that, too.
Thankfully, the little girl has three brothers. She's used to their ways. Otherwise, I may have had a really sad ballerina.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Things I love... galoshes... mainly because when I take the pup out every morning, the grass is a little wet and I don't like for my pants to get wet.
...cute kids who follow directions...
...adults who do their job... pup-a-roonie... I mean, she's cute, what's not to love?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Lil' Mr. Smarty Pants: "Ms. L, I hope my wife is as pretty as you, as tall as you, as blonde as you, as smiley as you, and dresses just like you. I want her to talk just like you and say nice things like you. But, she should definitely be hotter than you."
Lil' Dude: "Ms. L, I, uh.. farted.."
Me: "Excuse me, let's use a different word for that please..."
Lil' Dude: "Ms. L, I passed gas on my science book! Sorry!"

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I'm Bad, I'm Bad, I Know It...

A bad blogger, that is.

Just got a text from a real-life friend that simply said, "You have not blogged in 4 days, that's unacceptable!"

So.. here I am.

Went out with the neigbor girls last night who happen to be lesbians (this is an important part of the story, otherwise it wouldn't matter what their sexual preference is) and we headed up to our local dive bar. It's within walking distance to our condo, so it was a perfect choice. And, it really is a dive bar, so we were able to just roll up there wearing jeans and t-shirts and absolutely no make up.

Anyway, as we're eating and drinking, a man walks up to us, clearly intoxicated, and asks if he can sit down to enjoy the band. If you know me in real life, you know I would be like, "Oh heck no!" and turn away. I don't play like that. However, the girls say yes and he begins talking to us. Please keep in mind we are a) in a dive bar, and b) right down the street from not 1 but 2 halfway houses. The old man starts telling us his story and apparently he just got out of prison, this morning. Awesome. He continues hitting on the neighbor girls and even asks if they are girlfriends. He asks me if I have a girlfriend. (My response, "No. But I have a boyfriend and he's a cop." just so he would get the memo that maybe, just maybe he should go away now) By this time, he's really getting on my nerves because he's clearly being a dirt bag. We grab our bill, pay up, and head out.

As we're walking out, he begins following us, making disgusting comments to the girls. Knowing that if we walk home, he'll likely follow us, we decide to walk the other way. He still follows. At this point, I have the local police on speed dial (because I'm a worrier, natch) in case we need them. Thankfully, one of the girls just lays it out for him telling him to leave us alone or we will get the police and since he just got out of prison, they likely won't be very nice to him getting in trouble on the day he got out.

My favorite part, though? One of the girls' facebook status updates: "My daddy would be so proud! I was just hit on by a man while hanging out with two beautiful ladies. Only problem: he just got out of prison. BUT he was Jewish! Daddy always wanted me to date a nice Jewish boy."

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


For some crazy reason, gmail was down at my school for the past week. No gmail at school means no google reader. No google reader means no reading blogs (while at school, on my planning time, natch-- you know, in case big brother is watching, er, reading).
Imagine my surprise when I attempted to log in and it worked! Of course, it worked on a day that I was not in my classroom and was, instead, cooped up in the conference room leading meetings with my co-workers during their planning time. Meaning, they spent the whole time looking at me like, "Um.. we don't care what you have to say-- we want to be in our classrooms reading blogs, er, planning!"
Whatever. That was a long ramble about why I don't have any good kid stories for you today. Sorry.