Say what?!

I may or may not have said the name for a male chicken (c0ck) and the f bomb today. Before 12:00, no less.
Both were total accidents and I'm not even sure the kids heard me or understood what the big deal was.

I'm TOTALLY in line for Teacher of the Year. Totally.

OMFG TMI

Dears Facebook Users,

I do not care that you just checked in at the gynecologists office. In fact, you've painted a mental image that has been forever burned into my brain. Thanks. I'm seeing you, the gyno, and your legs spread wide open. Guh. Spare me.

I also do not care that your child threw up on you AND you had to change an explosive diaper. Again, the mental images are haunting me.

There is such a thing as Too Much Information (TMI) and you've totally crossed that line. I will never be able to read your status updates without wondering if the diarrhea came out of your pants. Or if the gyno saw anything weird like sparkles or fairies while looking at.. well, you know.

Please stop. Before my brain becomes mush and I realize I can't go a single day without wondering about your intimate secrets.

Thanks,
Your ex facebok friend

miscellaneous

Just left grad class, so you're getting bullets today. And you will like it, mmmmmkay?

• One of my kids may have said that love is when you go hump. I needed further explanation, as I was a little unsure of what exactly he meant by hump. Apparently in his little speech delayed world, he meant bump. When your heart goes bump. Bump. Not hump. Thank god. I would hate having to explain why we don't use that word in school.
• My professor says u-man instead of human. It drives me nuts.
• Same professor also says perferred instead of preferred. Also drives me nuts.
• Another cutie-patootie told me his bingo card had a lot of 3-ways on it. I couldn't help but chuckle.
• I have a pseudo-new student joining me everyday for our language arts workshop. He's a big-little guy with autism and he's probably the most adorable kid I've ever met. He's full of questions and I can really see how we're going to get really off task quickly. I may love every second of it. He can tell you all of the hosts on The View and refers to Elizabeth Hasselbeck as, "Last but not certainly not least, Elizabeth Hasselbeck!" She's his favorite because, "She has blonde hair just like you, Ms. L." Apparently he has a thing for blondes.
• He also disagrees with my use of adios as our dismissal cue. Apparently no teacher has ever used adios, and I shouldn't either. I was informed that I should change it immediately. I did not. And will not. He also informed me that he speaks English and all of my signs should be in English or he'll never understand anything I teach him.
• I might be sort of head over heels for this little guy, in case you can't tell.

Now I'm off to go reflect on who I am as a person and life events that have predicted my future. Yes, I'm taking a personality development class and I'm sooooo not into my feelings these days. Ugh. Guess I better get in touch with them soon. Or be a really good bs'er. I'll let you decide which route I take.