Open Mouth... Insert Foot..

Actual conversation with a Police Officer in a gas station...

Setting: Gas station...

In walks girl. As she enters, she notices two gentlemen watching her. One a police officer, one the clerk for the gas station.

Girl: (startled) Oh! I suddenly feel like I did something wrong... Like I was naughty!

Guys: hysterics...

Girl: Um.. that didn't come out right.

Police officer: I'm sure it didn't.

Tell me how you really feel...

Background: Monday and Tuesday I rocked the glasses instead of contacts. My eyes were screaming for a break, so I gave in and picked out outfits accordingly. (Yes, I have certain outfits that are okay for glasses and others that are contacts only.. I'm strange, I realize this)

Today when I was lining the kids up...

Little Man: "Mrs. L, where are your glasses? Can you even see us?"

Me: (chuckling..) "Oh, I decided to wear my contacts today. Yes, I can see you because
contacts are like glasses that are in your eyes."

Little Man: "Wow! It's like having a new, prettier teacher!"

Me: "Aw, thanks. Wait.. I'm prettier without my glasses? Bummer..."

Kids really do tell it like it is.

Touche my friend, Touche.

I learned an important lesson today...

Lil' Miss Drama Queen (LMDQ) was pitching a fit about not having her tennis shoes for PE (in the eyes of a 7 year old, this is huge.. that means sitting out during PE... I would think of it as blessing because then I wouldn't have to run or break a sweat but whatev).

As she's in hysterics, I calmly approached her and said, "LMDQ, how do you think we can solve this problem? Let's think for a minute.. take a deep breath and try to solve the problem together."

She looks me straight in the eye (and stops crying for a moment) to say, "Mrs. L, if I knew how to solve the problem, I wouldn't be crying!" and proceeds to cry again.

Touche, my friend.. touche.

FYI- we did solve the problem. Daddy brought her shoes. I thought of that one all by myself, thankyouverymuch.

First Day Follies...

Today we had a pretty high up VIP in the school district come to visit our school and wish us and the kids a happy first day (and I'm sure get a nice photo-op in..). This VIP stopped by a few classrooms and one of them happened to be mine.

As the big-wig was talking to me and greeting the kids, a camera person happened to trickle in. Cutie Pie girly in my room locked eyes with the camera, screamed, and hid under the table. I began to panic! Crud! This isn't supposed to happen!

Thankfully, the VIP had a pretty good sense of humor about it all and turned to me and said, "I suppose that's my cue to leave..."

During a rather enjoyable moment, one of my students turned to me and said, "You know what Mrs. L? I lied to you earlier." Intriqued, I asked Little Miss Honest what she lied about. "I told you I missed you this summer. I didn't think about you once." I thanked her for telling the truth, expressing that honesty is the best policy, while thinking to myself... you know what.. I didn't really miss you either. I kept that lie to myself.

Back to School..

Tomorrow is our first day with kiddos!

Not going to lie.... I'm pretty excited. Two reasons: 1) I have the cutest outfit for tomorrow and 2) my kids are always so entertaining.

That means you, my friends, will have more exciting things to read about on the blog.

For those of you going back to school tomorrow-- best of luck! Enjoy your week!

Hodge Podge...

My apologies in advance for this hodge podge of a post.

First off, thanks for letting me vent yesterday. I went to bed early and I am feeling much better.

Today was a good day. I didn't get much done in my room, but my assistant did and I feel like I might actually get to take Friday off. (We're supposed to be off, but the school is open.. so for the past three years I've gone in!)

Little Dog rolled around in something with a strong funky smell. I'm thinking an animal or something. Whatever it was, it was rotten. So I had to give her a bath. Little Dog is known for being a bit of a... well... how do I put this nicely? A princess? (exhibit a- refuses to go into wet grass and will pee on the cement, exhibit b- when camping, she lays in chairs instead of on the ground, exhibit c- she is always looking for attention) So giving her a bath is always an adventure. In her bath tonight? She climbed out of the tub while I was trying to get her wet and proceeded to get me SOAKED. She is now running around (wet) in the dogs room trying to dry off.

In my infinite wisdom, I then decided to give Big Dog a bath so I would have two clean dogs. I now look like I just got out of the shower because she shook all over me as soon as I let her out of the tub.

Hmm...

Feeling like I want a little anonymity... but I don't know how to get it. I started this blog as a place to share my life, get advice, and vent. At first I was frustrated because I didn't have any readers (that I knew of, at least..) and so I shared my blog address with family and friends. While I adore that my family and friends from so far away can share my life with me, sometimes a girl needs a place to escape...

What to do, what to do?

Yuck

I cannot stand people who chew with their mouth open. Seriously? I do not want to see your chewed up food.

Adventures in the Outdoors..

My friend Jennie and I took her kids down to a river to take them swimming. We had a blast watching the kids run in and out of the water, enjoying the freedom of being outdoors and playing in the water.



However, there are a few things I realized about spending an afternoon with kids... sometimes there are minor "inconveniences" and you have to think on your feet to help them out. Thankfully Jennie and I both grew up in the country, so we were able to help them out.



First incident? Kid A has to pee and turns to Jennie and says, "Where's the bathroom?" Her response? "All around. Pick a spot. Make sure you watch where you're peeing." He looks at her like she has five heads. But, he did it.



Next incident? Kid B shouts, "Mommy! I have to go pooooooop!" Jennie and I had to make a game time decision. We told him to plop a squat. He, also, looked at us like we had five heads. The squatting wasn't too bad, but when he asked how he was going to wipe? Jennie handed him a leaf. It was quite hilarious.

Not so hilarious? He pooped in his pants a little bit later and shouts to us, "Mommy! I pooped in my pants.. what do I do?" Mom's great idea? Take them off and get in the river. That was a great idea, until he swims out to us and says "Oh! It fell out of my bathing suit." We assumed it was floating upstream, right? Fast forward about five minutes and I feel something squishing under my heel. Yes, I stepped in poo.


Darn kids.

Fishing

Fishing..again. A little more appropriately dressed this time. No bow on my shirt, but still rockin' the flip flops.

Love Story, Part 2.

On Wednesday, two days after I met bouncer boy, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. Normally I do not answer when I don't know who it is, but I was in the middle of preparing for "The Bachelor" with a friend of mine and didn't pay any attention to what was going on.

"Hi.. it's Bouncer Boy. From the bar? I wondered if you wanted to hang out tonight. I know it's late notice, but I thought I'd see if you were free."

Unfortunately, I had a prior commitment-- Hello? "The Bachelor"? I had to decline, but informed him I would be going out to another bar the next night to celebrate a 21st birthday, so if he wanted to go up there, I would love to see him and if he wasn't able to make it, maybe we could meet up this weekend.

I was pretty certain he wouldn't show up the next night, as that was totally my luck with guys. As I was walking in, after waiting in line for a while in the rain, I saw him turn and wave. I'm pretty sure he may have taken my breath away because a) there was not an empty table in sight and b) I didn't recognize anyone at the bar. Immediately relieved, I played it cool and walked over to say hello. He quietly said, "Where are your friends?" Panicked, I said.. "I'm not sure where they are celebrating.. I hope they didn't leave without telling me!" He immediately reassured me that there was an upstairs and it was very likely that was where they were hanging out, as the basement was more of a lounge, not the bar.

He asked me what I was drinking, grabbed me a drink, and invited me to sit down. I politely declined, saying I wanted to find my friends first. As soon as I got upstairs, I found my friends and saw they were all paying and getting ready to leave. I was a little disappointed, as I just got there, but decided I would politely decline their invite to walk to the next bar because I had to work early the next morning (and I was secretly excited about the boy downstairs... and I'll be honest.. I didn't want to walk in the rain!).

As I headed downstairs, I saw bouncer boy smiling and chatting with his friends. I walked up and told him my friends were leaving. Looking a little disappointed, he asked me if that meant I was leaving, too? I told him about working early and said I would probably only be good for one more drink before heading home, so it really wasn't worth walking to the next bar. Thankfully, one of my friends was going to stay with me and the boys because she, too, had to get up early.

That night, during conversation, he put his hand on my leg. I immediately remember thinking, "How forward of him! But... I kind of like it. In fact, I don't mind it at all..."

A little while later, I looked at my phone and noticed it was after midnight. I informed bouncer boy and his friends that I was going to head out. Bouncer boy offered to walk me out to my car and on the way, he told me his plans for the weekend and hoped that he could see me soon.

To Be Continued...

Happy Birthday!

Dear Auntie Sara,

We wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Since we can't talk very well.. we thought you might enjoy our pictures. Mommy made us dress up in these ridiculous hats, but we love you.. so we obliged.

Love,
Little ZoBo & Leila Beila

Our Love Story... Part 1

In an effort to come up with something to write about.. I thought I'd share with you my love story with Hubby.

My (first) senior year, I moved in with some girls from my program. We had tons of fun together. That happened to be the same year I turned 21. One of my other roommates had a birthday a few days before mine, so she had the luxury of trying a few of the bars before I could. On the Monday after my birthday, she wanted to celebrate "college style"-- you know, grab a drink on gasp! a weeknight. For students in the education program, this truly was out of character for us, as we either had class early in the AM or we had a pre-internship and had to hang out with little ones at the ungodly hour of 8AM. During this particular week, though, schools were going to be holding conferences, so the pre-interns weren't required to go to teach.

We headed to a local bar that was the home of Monday night specials. And, as poor college students.. this was important to us. It also happened to be one of the few places in my college town you could snag a Blue Moon. When we walked in, to my surprise, the roommate happened to know the bouncers as they were roommates with her brother. Because it was a quiet night in the bar, the bouncers came over to catch up with the roommate while we enjoyed our Blue Moons (with orange, of course).

As the boys headed back to work, I joked to roommate that the taller one (hubby, natch) was pretty cute. Knowing me, she joked, "Cute enough for you?!" I agreed. He was cute enough for me.

She headed off to the bathroom and I began talking to some other people. She came back and said to me, "Hey.. what would you think if he asked me for your phone number?" Surprised, I said, "I'd be okay with it."

A few beers later.. and some flirting with the bouncers (of course).. we decided to head out. The beer began talking and I told the bouncer, "You better call me. I don't just give my number to anyone." and walked off.

...To Be Continued....

Overheard..

Conversation tidbits I heard today...

"I'm not wearing a bra, so be careful!" Um.. be careful of what? Flying boobs?

"I think I might be bipolar. I mean sometimes I'm super happy then I'm super mad." I'm pretty sure people who are bipolar don't recognize it.

Question..

Okay.. I know there are a bunch of readers out there who are teachers. I'm looking for some advice on literacy centers and morning message/meeting ideas. I'm trying to re-vamp some things for this year and I KNEW you all would be able to help!

HELP!

Golf..

I am beginning to really have a love affair with golf. I have gone twice this summer with Daddy-O and we have such a good time. Even if I'm not that good.

One reason I'm falling in love with it? Hello? The dress code! Where else can you play a sport, burn some cals (walking, swinging the club..), get some sun, AND rock khaki's and a polo? And be super prep-tastic while doing it? Plus.. I'm pretty sure everyone plays better with a popped collar. Of course I didn't realize that until we finished up.

I do wish, however, that there were re-do's in golf. I think if I play with Mommy, that'd be okay. Daddy isn't quite as forgiving. Bummer.

Ewww

I simply cannot stand public restrooms. They disgust me on so many levels.

Today at the movies confirmed for me just how gross they are. First? The noises and grunts coming out of the stall nwxt to me. Next? The woman who did not wash her hands after using the restroom. And the kicker? The feces on the stall wall.

Needless to say, I will be bleaching my entire body when I get home.

Seriously? Poop.on.the.wall.

Call me Crazy..

Is it horrible that I'm excited for school to start? I know, I know.. in a few weeks I'll be begging for summer.

Here's what I'm excited about..

• setting up my classroom
• putting up new bulletin boards
• creating all my folders
• new school supplies
• organizing the classroom
• the first day of school
• seeing all my kiddos from last year
• seeing how much said kiddos have grown
• diving head first into reading!
• implementing all the fun things I've been reading about this summer

Yup, I.am.crazy.

Any other teachers out there who get excited for the first day of school?