Realization..

I've been a little sad lately. Actually, a lot sad. I kind of thought maybe I was throwing a pity party for myself and trid to tell myself to get over it.

Until I realized (at the doctor, no less..) that my past year or so has been pretty poopy. In 13 months my husband left me, I watched my grandmother die, and my Dad died very suddenly and we were forced to make tough decisions regarding his life. It was one thing after another. And each one occurred just as I thought I was getting over the previous incident.

It's okay for me to be sad. It's okay for me to have a bad day. It's even okay for me to cry. Heck, it's expected. I don't have to be a robot and I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be me. And if I'm sad, I'm allowed to be sad. I have to learn to be okay with my feelings and cut myself a little slack.

So, I'm sad. I'm sad I can't call my dad or get a hug from him. I'm sad I won't be able to watch him with his grandchildren (someday, not now obviously). And I'm really sad that my mom has to go through life without her best friend and her partner. All those things I'm sad about, she's sad about, too.

And that's okay.

We'll get through this, absolutely. And we'll be stronger because of it. But for now, it's okay to be sad.