Guest Reader

Me: "Boys and girls, today we will have a special guest reader, Ms. L's friend, Officer K! He's a real, live police officer. Isn't that fun?"

 

Little Man: "Um, you have a friend who is a boy?"

 

Me: "Yes, think of all my friends in school who are boys."

 

Little Man: "But it's different. He's a man. You know what men do."

 

Me:" Uh.. let's talk about something different now. Thanks."

 

And speaking of what men do.. I have a little one who reminds me of Al Bundy (from Married with Children? Anyone remember?). Seriously, this kid picks his nose and flicks boogers all the time in the middle of my freakin' lessons. He burps and toots like it's his job. He fans his toots and shouts things like, "Maaaaaaaan! That one smells horrible!" And today? I caught him picking his behind, with his hands in his pants. Sometimes he sits with his hands in his pants, too. It's like watching a dirty old man.

 

Sweet Jesus, please save me.