God is in my heart...

Little Big Man was reading with me the other day when he got right in my face and told me, "God is in my heart!" I smiled and asked him to keep reading. Not because I'm insensitive, but mainly because we were short on time and I really needed him to finish reading. Also because he's reeeeeally good about getting me off task and then we completely run out of time to finish whatever it is we've started.

He then ran over to another adult in the room and loudly told her, "God is in my heart!" and then quickly ran away.

The kid she was working with said, "What's God?". And being the super-awesome assistant she is, she referred him to me. You know, because I totally have the answer to that one and certainly can talk about it in school. Right? Wrong.

So Little Man came over to me and asked me, "What's God?!". Georgie was totally freaked out about this and SCREAMED, "God is not a WHAT, he's a WHO!"

Oh my.

Ninja kicks, big mouth, and attempting to teach America's youth about the importance of MLK, Jr.

Ya'll, I've been busy. Seriously bi-zy. We're talking running 3 days a week, finishing up grad school, and totally attempting to organize the mass chaos in my classroom (AKA, I'm a circus clown and damn proud of it!).  I've tripled my class size in just 4 weeks. I left for Christmas with 2 and came back to 4, now I'm at 6. The good news for all of you? I shall now properly blog because I'll actually have something to talk about.

One of my new friends, we shall call him Ted, is all boy. And he has the attention span of a gnat. Which totally keeps me on my toes, but makes it virtually impossible to teach him. He makes me laugh about every twenty seconds because you just never know what might come out of his mouth.

So the other day, Ted does this amazing ninja kick of sorts, which sort of resembles a karate kick but he swears it's a ninja kick, and almost knocks over about 12 pieces of furniture. He immediately begins complaining about his arm hurting him. And I'm all, "Duuuuuude, did you learn a lesson from that? I mean you almost knocked over the computer." To which he responds, "Yeah, you should always stretch before doing a ninja kick!".

Lesson learned.

I've also added a new young lady to the mix. She's a barrel of fun. Seriously. In fact, we'll refer to her as Curious Georgianne, or Georgie for short. She lives up to her name, for many reasons. 

So, we were doing an experiment comparing green, white, and brown eggs to prepare for our kick off to study MLK, Jr. As we were "investigating" our eggs, I handed the students hand lenses. As soon as she picked that bad boy up, she was looking at everything around the room, commenting on how everything is bigger. Then she panned to my face, and loudly (she doesn't do ANYTHING quietly) proclaims, "Oh my goodness! You have a REALLY BIG MOUTH!".

Thanks, Georgie. I could say the same about you.

As we continued our "investigation" we examined the eggs, noticing they were different on the outside. Then we cracked them open and they were the same-- just like humans! (all together now, awwwww!) We cooked them up and saw they tasted the same, too. As I was trying to bring it all together, I asked the group how eggs were like humans? Georgie loudly (I told you, she doesn't do anything quietly) explains that eggs are just like humans because "we both came from a boy and a girl.. and began as small eggs... and.."

Seriously?

I cut her off, summarized it on my own and moved along. I can only imagine if I had let her go. I would have a lot of parent phone calls asking me to explain that one.

I can see the light..

Tomorrow is my last day with the kiddos. Part of me is sad.. but an even larger part is ready to bust out the champagne as soon as they leave. Seriously.

As I reflect, though, on this school year, I realize that I have grown a lot both personally and professionally.

Personally, this school year has been pretty rough. My marriage ended, I moved out of my house (and on my own for the first time), and I lost my grandmother. There have been some pretty dark times, but I've learned a lot about myself through these challenges. Life truly is a journey. And through this journey, I have made some lasting friendships that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Professionally, it's been one of my toughest years as well. I have worked with some tough co-workers, challenging students, and an insane number of students were added to my class throughout the year. I started with 4 and ended with 10. I also added two assistants, meaning I was managing 10 students and 3 adults. That's a whole lot of crazy in one classroom. Again, I've learned a lot about myself as a teacher, as a woman, and as a leader. All of these things have not only challenged me, but changed me as a teacher and as a person. A change for the better, without a doubt. Although it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies, it truly has been a time for growth.

Bring on the champagne. This teacher is ready for summer vacation!

Bodily Fluids..

I can't believe I forgot this!

I have a rule in my classroom to curb tattle tales, "If you're not bleeding, puking, or hurt, Ms. L doesn't need to know about it." It really works because all I have to do is hold up one, two, and then three fingers when a kid is reporting something to me and they walk away. This rule has held up for two years now. Until today.

A kid was calling my name over and over and over again. If you're a teacher or a mother, you know just how annoying this is. I told him I was ignoring him until he asked for my attention the right way. Knowing where I was going, another kid wisely said, "Umm... but he is bleeding!" Yes, little dude was bleeding all over my floor, himself, and then on me. I don't do blood. And I certainly don't do gushing blood.

And then? I had a kid spit on me. He hocked a full on loogie right onto my foot because he was angry I was sending him for a time-out.

Seriously, I told you I work in a circus.

Aha!

During an educational informational insightful conversation with a few co-workers (one social worker and one fellow male teacher) we were discussing the luxuries of spanx. Spanx? World's best invention, after the internet of course, has to be Spanx. I mean, they hug in all the right places and make the buldges disappear.

Male co-worker hadn't ever heard of Spanx. I suppose that's completely normal, as he is single and probably doesn't hang out with lots of ladies getting ready for big events. After a detailed conversation about Spanx, he sheepishly asked us ladies, "Do they make these for men?" We, of course, laughed and laughed. And then? We had a brilliant idea.

Manx.

Spanx for men.

Thoughts?

Say what?

Setting: Computer Lab

Characters: My circus of a class + one very stressed out teacher (yours truly)

Little Man: Mrs. L! Mrs. L!

Me: (disgusted, as this is the eighteenth time I've had to remind him we don't shout for our teacher, we raise our hand and sit quietly) Little Man, what's the rule?

Little Man: I know the rule, but.. but... ugh.. (raises his hand)

Me: (nice teacher voice) Yes, Little Man. Do you have a question?

Little Man: Mrs. L, where's the shit key?

Me: Say what?

Little Man: The shit key! They want me to press the shit key and then a.

Me: The shiFt key? That's the one with the arrow.

Little Man: Ohhhh... why do they call it the shit key?

Me: They don't. It's the shiFFFFFt key.

Little Man: That doesn't make any sense... I'm confused.

Me: (attempting not to laugh) When you press it, it shifts the lowercase a to an uppercase a.

Little Man: Ahhh... so it's not the naughty word key.

Me: No, no it's not.