Puss 'n Boots...

Me: Let's use sound spelling to write that word. Get ready. What sound do you hear first in puss?
Lil big man: Ew! You said a bad word!
Lil man: Puss n Boots is a bad word? (tears begin flowing...)
Me: No, darling. Puss is a lovable character in a movie.
Lil big man: It sounds like what my brother calls me.
Me: Your brother calls you puss? That's not nice to call someone a cat.
Lil big man: I didn't know p*$$y meant cat.
Lil man: So how do I spell p*$$y?

Oh my. Disney, please refrain from using names like that in popular movies. Mmmmkay?

Also, a kid told me his dad sat on him. I really wanted the details, but we were getting ready to move along. I mean, those kind of stories are always better from the mouths of babes. It wasn't until his mom called that I got the details. Apparently his dad sat on him because he was being silly and they were play fighting.

I can't wait to have kids so I can sit on them.

The 600 Pound Mother

Last week we were learning about polar bears. We read books, we played games, we researched important facts, etc. You know, all the cool things about Polar Bears.

Me: "I can't believe a female Polar Bear can weigh almost 600 pounds! I better write that fact down so I don't forget."

Little Guy: "My Mom weighs 600 pounds. Well, she lost 30 pounds so I guess she only weighs 570 pounds. But she used to be as big as a polar bear."

I'm sure his mom would love to know that he thinks she weighs 600 pounds and used to be as big as a polar bear.