Dear Dove,

Hi there. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a twenty-something college graduate, working on a master's degree in education. On a daily basis, I teach children to read. Therefore, it's appropriate to assume that I know how to read.


However, one of your products fooled me. You see, it's not cool to advertise "hydrating lotion" on a body wash bottle. Because when you're frantic for lotion on the day of your grandmother's funeral and vacillating between wanting to vomit and shaking hysterically because you know you just might screw up the eulogy that everyone thinks you're going to rock (and I did, thankyouverymuch), bottles that have an oxymoron on them suck. Really suck. And it really sucks when you spread said lotion body wash all over your body and realize it AFTER you've done your hair and makeup, so showering is not really an option.

Let's see if we can rectify this situation, shall we? I'd hate for someone else to make the same mistake.
Sincerely,
Moi