Strange...it's all relative...

You know you work with kids when you over hear someone say, 'let's only speak in Russian or German to eachother and pretend we know what we're saying!'

Then you hear yourself remind them to only speak in English when talking to you.

Their response? 'Ms. L..we thought you knew everything. Why can't you understand Russian?'

Maybe because you're not actually speaking Russian? There's a thought...

Overheard...

Now that I'm down to 4 kids, it's a little easier to hear the conversations that go on when the kids think you're not listening. Or when they don't care if you're listening. Whichever the case may be.

 

During our addition lesson..

"6 + 6 = 12"

 

"5 +5 = 10 and 100 + 100 = 200"

 

"Kid + Kid = Mommy"

 

"Man + Man = Woman!"

 

"Wait. Man + Man = Woman? I guess that makes sense. Every man needs a girlfriend or a wife. They need wives to take care of them when they are sick and cook for them, too. Seriously. I am gonna need a wife someday because she'll know how to cook breakfast just right and she won't burn my toast."

 

"All the girls at daycare want me, though. It's weird. It's like they think I'm.. I'm.. well, they just want me. Gross."

 

Tough life there, kiddo. Get used to it. Girls love bad boys and you're baaaaaad to the bone.

 

 

Eeks.

First day back after a week off for conferences/Thanksgiving break and I have an observation today. I know I'll do fine, but I'm just a wee bit nervous.

 

Oh, and add to that? The changes in my classroom-- I lost my third graders. They moved up to the other third grade classroom for instructional reasons (I'm teaching a 2/3 split and that's not the best way to teach.. especially when rumors are swirlin' that there are some first graders and Kindergarteners who may possibly require our services, meaning they would move into my classroom and that would then put me with k, 1, 2, and 3. Not cool.) so I'm down to 4 kids. And it's our first day as just the 6 of us- 4 kids, two adults. Plus I'm being observed. Plus, they all traveled for Thanksiving. Oh, and they've had a week off, so we're having a bit of difficulty adjusting to the new classroom, new routines, new schedule, and trying to get back in the swing of things.

 

Oh and I'm being observed. What was I thinkin'?

 

Wish me luck!

Updates

I've been nagged to update. So here I am.

I'm going home TOMORROW!

My family is a little rowdy, so I expect I'll come away from this weekend a little bit tired. Combine the ruckus my family always creates with a baby shower on Saturday and I'm sure this will likely be an exciting weekend. Let's hope there's more than enough blog fodder to go around.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in the state that's shaped like a mitten.

PS-- Any suggestions on books to read? Keep in mind, I enjoy chick lit and some suspense. My previous reading pleasures include The Bride Quartet by Nora Roberts and The Twilight Series.

We Love Body Functions

Today I'm feeling a bit under the weather. We're talking green snot, sneezing every twenty seconds, puffy eyes, and limited use of my vocal cords. It's super pleasant. Nothing is worse than being sick and teaching. You have to pretend like all is well and be all like "ooh! I love how you're reading so nicely!" and "Wow! What a great word detective you are!" or "No thank you, friend. We use scissors safely." Basically I have to be phony AND sick. Not cool.

 

That was just background. Sorry for the rambling. And the mental picture of my green snotty nose. I digress...

 

I happened to sneeze right in the middle of reading with a friend. Said friend really likes to tell it like it is. He's never going to sugar coat things. Like when we read a story about a whale that was weak and went under water but never came up again. He shouted, "That's because he's dead. D-E-A-D. Dead."

 

Back to the sneeze...

 

When I sneezed, a little bit of snot came out my nose. I was trying to hide the sneeze but it didn't work. So snot came pouring out and he proudly shouted, "Ms. L just shot snot out of her nose! eeeeeeew! Snot rocket!"

 

Thanks Little Man. Thanks. I can't even be sick with dignity today.

Farts Are Funny...

Yes, it's true. I know I've said it before, but I have the humor of a 7 year old. And probably a boy, at that.

 

But every.single.time someone farts in my class, I can't help but laugh. I know I'm totally irresponsible and sending the wrong message, but it's hilarious.

 

The only time it's not hilarious? When said student happens to be sitting on my foot and a green gas appears behind him because it smells THAT bad.

 

Seriously, a kid farted on my foot.

 

On my foot. And it stunk. And I laughed.

 

Teacher of the Year? Yes, please.

Peeping Tom?

Just had a nice convo with one of the ladies who lives in my complex. I was commenting on the cold weather and taking her dog for a walk when she said, "Your dog is so cute and so well behaved! I watch you with her all the time."

Um... hello stalker. I've never ran into her while walking Zoey. It's only ever been when she was with her dog. So I kind of figured she had no idea I had a dog. Until she fessed up that she's a peeping Tom (or.. whatever you would call a peeping woman) and she watches me from her window.

Weird.

Grumblings...

You know how you try to be the best at everything you do? And I mean try really hard. You give 110% and more no matter what the circumstances?

 

What about the days when you give it your all and it's just not enough? Those are the kind of days that really make you want to stay in bed and ignore it all. Unfortunately, you can't. Because you have responsibilities. A job. People who are counting on you.

 

I feel like a horrible teacher... my kids aren't making the progress I had hoped for. The progress I expected. The progress they need to make in order to pass those darn standardized tests. You know, those ones that my job might depend on. It doesn't matter that I had a kid improve his reading fluency by 25 words per minute in just 8 weeks. No, that doesn't matter because he's still reading below grade level. Or the child who can identify coins, but can't count the total. Nevermind that she didn't know ANY values when I got her 9 weeks ago.

 

I'm a horrible blogger... I read a lot of blogs during my lunch break, at school, on google reader. Meaning I can't comment. Oh and I have been really slacking on the updates. Mainly because I get home from school, do more work, and then zonk out. (Or I go to watch the Monday Night Football game and don't get home until midnight. On a school night. Oops.)

 

I'm a horrible friend... I have a million cards to send out, people to check in on, and people to actually see. But, I haven't.

 

I'm a horrible daughter... I didn't call my dad last night to check in on him. He had surgery on Tuesday and I should've called, but I was busy doing schoolwork then fell asleep at 8:30, while sitting at the computer.

 

I'm really trying to keep a positive attitude. I promise I am. But sometimes when it comes at you from every angle, it's hard to see which way is up.

 

Today is a new day. Hopefully a better day.

I'm Lovin'...

Things I'm loving right now....

Hello amazingness, my name is Lori. Pleased to meet you.

These little lovelies? Perfection. In a bottle. #1, it's wine. #2, it's mini. #3, it's cheap. # 4, no more wasting a bottle of wine because I only want one glass.

(courtesy of the beverage store)

I can thank Mrs. Steck for this amazingness, as she gifted me a set for being a part of her special day. She's the best for feeding my wine indulgences. (Love, Love, Love you, Jessica!)

Look at that face!

Currently, she's curled up on the couch with her head on my lap. Earlier? She wouldn't come in the house because the dryer was on. I had to carry her inside. She has a little PTSD from a dryer incident this summer involving Grandma Sue, Grandma Deb, and Great Grandma Joyce. Oi vey.

Kindle, I heart you.

My awesome parents gifted this to me for my birthday. Now I don't have to carry two books in my purse for fear of being without a book at all times. Not only does it feed my desire for reading, it's super cute too. I look like a tech-saavy nerd when I'm reading. Dorky glasses not required.

What's in a Name?

Lunch choices for today included hamburgers. Pretty normal, right? Totally.

Until..

Mr. Wiggles: "That's my nickname!"

Me: "Huh? What is?"

Mr. Wiggles: "Hamburger! Hamburger! My mom calls me hamburger. Or little hamburger."

Me: "Hmm. Really? That's a unique (read: weird) nickname....how did she come up with that? Were you always eating hamburgers?"

Mr. Wiggles: "Nope! It's because I look like a hamburger."

Me: "You do?"

Mr. Wiggles: "Yeah, I'm the color of a burger! No cheese, though. That would be yellow."

Another little guy: "Ms. L! We're like the mayo on his hamburger. You know, white and creamy."


Oi vey.

One Year, Many Lessons..

One year ago today, I thought my life was over.

Now I realize, it was only the beginning of a journey towards self-discovery. If someone would have told me I would be 27, divorced, and living 500+ miles away from my family and friends, I would have called them a liar. I may have crawled under a rock and wailed like a baby. Or, I may have realized a few things in life don't turn out as planned and that's okay. It's more than okay. A blessing in disguise, perhaps.

While it's been a long, tear-filled journey, it's been a true lesson in life. Here's a sampling of things I've learned through this journey...

• life has a funny way of working out.
• it's okay to cry in public.
• it's okay to rely on others.
• I am stronger than I think.
• there's nothing wrong with taking time for yourself.
• cereal is an acceptable dinner.
• sometimes God's greatest gifts really are unanswered prayers.
• in times of trouble, leaning on friends is the only way to get through it.
• friends are a gift.
• you'll make unlikely friends and those unlikely friends will become family.
• you need different perspectives in order to make life decisions.
• sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on, a punching bag, or a laugh all at the same time.
• being single is better than being married and miserable.
• coming home to a dog really can make you smile.
• kids will help you put things in perspective.
• often you will find others who have it far worse.
• nobody understands what you're going through exactly, but they can listen.
• it's good to have a friend who can call you out when you're being ridiculous.
• sometimes you'll be mad at the world, but you're really mad at yourself.
• therapy is amazing.
• it's okay to have to go to therapy.
• life isn't about what you have, it's about what you make it.
• it's okay to ask for help.
• even when you feel like you can't get out of bed, it's important to make the effort.
• life isn't just about you.
• it's okay to cry over what feels like nothing.
• you can't love someone else until you love yourself.
• forgiveness isn't easy, but it's important.
• accepting my faults is important.
• I have learned from my mistakes.
• I know how to say I'm sorry and really mean it.
• it's easy to hate someone, but harder to forgive them.

And the biggest thing I've learned? I am a strong, independent, beautiful woman who knows who she is because she's been through a lot. I know how to laugh. I know how to cry. I know how to ask for help and when to run away.  Letting go is not giving up. I may have times of sadness every now and then, but I know I'm better off in the end.

I love myself for who I am, where I've been, what I've done, and for who I am to become. I am me. That's all I'll ever be. But I'm pretty damn proud of me.

This is what is wrong with the world...

Brooke Mueller, Charlie Sheen's soon-to-be ex-wife, will be receiving $55,000 a month for child support. $55,000 a MONTH? And, they will have joint custody. What in the world costs that much money?

Let's do the math here. Divided by two children, that's $27,500 a month per child. Annually? That's $660,000 a year. That woman is making more money a month for her children than I make in a year, working. You know, actually doing something. Like, educating our youth. (And all you mom's out there, don't go crazy on me. I know you do things when you're a mother-- it's totally a full time job. But it's a volunteer position, ya know?)

Mom's out there, please explain to me what could cost that much per month. I know diapers are expensive, but that's just ridiculous.

Don't believe me? Check it out here.