{There Are No Words...}

This?

This was my Valentine's Day surprise.

Please note: I despise hearts. Anything heart shaped makes me want to gag.

And we had a strict "no gift policy"

Oh! To top it off? My house was also decorated with approximately 9 heart shaped balloons.

It's a good thing he's cute or I would have to kill him.

In all honesty, though, it was in good fun. My dad was a really big jokester, so it made me laugh (and cry) to think about how much fun my dad would have had hearing that story. I'm pretty sure he high fived B from heaven that day.



Puss 'n Boots...

Me: Let's use sound spelling to write that word. Get ready. What sound do you hear first in puss?
Lil big man: Ew! You said a bad word!
Lil man: Puss n Boots is a bad word? (tears begin flowing...)
Me: No, darling. Puss is a lovable character in a movie.
Lil big man: It sounds like what my brother calls me.
Me: Your brother calls you puss? That's not nice to call someone a cat.
Lil big man: I didn't know p*$$y meant cat.
Lil man: So how do I spell p*$$y?

Oh my. Disney, please refrain from using names like that in popular movies. Mmmmkay?

Also, a kid told me his dad sat on him. I really wanted the details, but we were getting ready to move along. I mean, those kind of stories are always better from the mouths of babes. It wasn't until his mom called that I got the details. Apparently his dad sat on him because he was being silly and they were play fighting.

I can't wait to have kids so I can sit on them.

Full Moon

Oh my! I don't know about any of you, but the past few days have been one act shy of a three ring circus around these parts. We're talking cuh-ray-zee!

 

How crazy? I thought you might ask.

 

I've had two death threats. (only one was legit-- like the little guy could really bring a gun from home and actually kill me)

A fit over a dead spider that was the size of a comma.

A fist to within inches of my face.

A chair thrown at me, but I'm pretty much a ninja when stuff like that happens, so no chance that was going to hit me.

 

And all of that was on top of the regularly scheduled events such as reading, math, art, etc.

 

I'm ready for this week to be OVER.

 

Say what?!

I may or may not have said the name for a male chicken (c0ck) and the f bomb today. Before 12:00, no less.
Both were total accidents and I'm not even sure the kids heard me or understood what the big deal was.

I'm TOTALLY in line for Teacher of the Year. Totally.

God is in my heart...

Little Big Man was reading with me the other day when he got right in my face and told me, "God is in my heart!" I smiled and asked him to keep reading. Not because I'm insensitive, but mainly because we were short on time and I really needed him to finish reading. Also because he's reeeeeally good about getting me off task and then we completely run out of time to finish whatever it is we've started.

He then ran over to another adult in the room and loudly told her, "God is in my heart!" and then quickly ran away.

The kid she was working with said, "What's God?". And being the super-awesome assistant she is, she referred him to me. You know, because I totally have the answer to that one and certainly can talk about it in school. Right? Wrong.

So Little Man came over to me and asked me, "What's God?!". Georgie was totally freaked out about this and SCREAMED, "God is not a WHAT, he's a WHO!"

Oh my.

Ninja kicks, big mouth, and attempting to teach America's youth about the importance of MLK, Jr.

Ya'll, I've been busy. Seriously bi-zy. We're talking running 3 days a week, finishing up grad school, and totally attempting to organize the mass chaos in my classroom (AKA, I'm a circus clown and damn proud of it!).  I've tripled my class size in just 4 weeks. I left for Christmas with 2 and came back to 4, now I'm at 6. The good news for all of you? I shall now properly blog because I'll actually have something to talk about.

One of my new friends, we shall call him Ted, is all boy. And he has the attention span of a gnat. Which totally keeps me on my toes, but makes it virtually impossible to teach him. He makes me laugh about every twenty seconds because you just never know what might come out of his mouth.

So the other day, Ted does this amazing ninja kick of sorts, which sort of resembles a karate kick but he swears it's a ninja kick, and almost knocks over about 12 pieces of furniture. He immediately begins complaining about his arm hurting him. And I'm all, "Duuuuuude, did you learn a lesson from that? I mean you almost knocked over the computer." To which he responds, "Yeah, you should always stretch before doing a ninja kick!".

Lesson learned.

I've also added a new young lady to the mix. She's a barrel of fun. Seriously. In fact, we'll refer to her as Curious Georgianne, or Georgie for short. She lives up to her name, for many reasons. 

So, we were doing an experiment comparing green, white, and brown eggs to prepare for our kick off to study MLK, Jr. As we were "investigating" our eggs, I handed the students hand lenses. As soon as she picked that bad boy up, she was looking at everything around the room, commenting on how everything is bigger. Then she panned to my face, and loudly (she doesn't do ANYTHING quietly) proclaims, "Oh my goodness! You have a REALLY BIG MOUTH!".

Thanks, Georgie. I could say the same about you.

As we continued our "investigation" we examined the eggs, noticing they were different on the outside. Then we cracked them open and they were the same-- just like humans! (all together now, awwwww!) We cooked them up and saw they tasted the same, too. As I was trying to bring it all together, I asked the group how eggs were like humans? Georgie loudly (I told you, she doesn't do anything quietly) explains that eggs are just like humans because "we both came from a boy and a girl.. and began as small eggs... and.."

Seriously?

I cut her off, summarized it on my own and moved along. I can only imagine if I had let her go. I would have a lot of parent phone calls asking me to explain that one.

Sight Word Shout Out..

As I was doing a sight word assessment on my little fellas, Mr. Wiggles (one of my new students-- I'll elaborate more later, but his name on here is totally fitting) read the word hot.

 

"That's what you are, Ms. L. Hot. The hottest teacher, ever."

 

Duh.