I'm Horrible..

If there's a hell for doggie owners, I'm going there for sure. Let's examine the evidence..

Exhibit A: In the first 6 weeks of having Big Dog, we came home to find an empty bottle of Tylenol PM on the floor and destroyed. Crap! Call Animal Poison Control and they tell us to induce vomiting. As she begins throwing up, I realize the bottle she ate was the empty one, the full one was put away already. Oops. My bad.

Exhibit B: Within the first month of moving into our new house, Big Dog got into the closet that housed the medicine bin. She tasted like 5 different medicines and the whole time I was on the phone with Animal Poison Control, they couldn't understand how I didn't know what she ate. Um.. hello? She was left alone for 8 hours and could have eaten the whole thing for all I know. Crud. I'm horrible. Again, induce vomiting.

Exhibit C: She consumed cold medicine and Benadryl. I follow the standard operating procedure, call the vet, they tell me to call Animal Poison Control. There, they say.. you guessed it, induce vomiting.

It wouldn't be quite so bad, except when she threw up I found things in there I had no idea she had eaten. You know, things like grass, plastic, a sock. Yes, she threw up grass, plastic, a sock, and the pills. I'm a really spectacular dog owner.

Anyone want me to puppy sit?