Dedication

You know you're dedicated when you offer to take a child's pants home to re-stitch the seam in his pants.

Or you're tired of hearing his friends say, "You have a hole in your pants! I can see your under roos!"

And, on a completely related note... when you hear a child say, "My bottom hurts. My drawers are too tight." You might have a hard time hiding your laughter. Just sayin'.

22 more days. I CAN do this.

I can see the light..

Tomorrow is my last day with the kiddos. Part of me is sad.. but an even larger part is ready to bust out the champagne as soon as they leave. Seriously.

As I reflect, though, on this school year, I realize that I have grown a lot both personally and professionally.

Personally, this school year has been pretty rough. My marriage ended, I moved out of my house (and on my own for the first time), and I lost my grandmother. There have been some pretty dark times, but I've learned a lot about myself through these challenges. Life truly is a journey. And through this journey, I have made some lasting friendships that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Professionally, it's been one of my toughest years as well. I have worked with some tough co-workers, challenging students, and an insane number of students were added to my class throughout the year. I started with 4 and ended with 10. I also added two assistants, meaning I was managing 10 students and 3 adults. That's a whole lot of crazy in one classroom. Again, I've learned a lot about myself as a teacher, as a woman, and as a leader. All of these things have not only challenged me, but changed me as a teacher and as a person. A change for the better, without a doubt. Although it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies, it truly has been a time for growth.

Bring on the champagne. This teacher is ready for summer vacation!

Weeeee....

I just got another new student.. bringing my total up to 10. I have a new assistant starting tomorrow, bringing my assistant count up to 3. Let's quickly do the math.. 10+3=13

Yes, I'm juggling (bossing??) around 13 people.

Because I have SO much going on, I'm having a hard time keeping track of which way is up. Long story short, I've got nothing. I can't even remember conversations I had 10 minutes ago, let alone the funny things the kids said all day. I know there were funny things because I remember thinking to myself, I can't wait to blog about this. But now I can't remember. Shucks.

Oh! I do remember a kid saying something about lions eating their own feces. But what he really said was, lions eat their own species. He just happens to have some speech issues and it just really sounded like feces instead of species. And I, of course, laughed out loud.

Bodily Fluids..

I can't believe I forgot this!

I have a rule in my classroom to curb tattle tales, "If you're not bleeding, puking, or hurt, Ms. L doesn't need to know about it." It really works because all I have to do is hold up one, two, and then three fingers when a kid is reporting something to me and they walk away. This rule has held up for two years now. Until today.

A kid was calling my name over and over and over again. If you're a teacher or a mother, you know just how annoying this is. I told him I was ignoring him until he asked for my attention the right way. Knowing where I was going, another kid wisely said, "Umm... but he is bleeding!" Yes, little dude was bleeding all over my floor, himself, and then on me. I don't do blood. And I certainly don't do gushing blood.

And then? I had a kid spit on me. He hocked a full on loogie right onto my foot because he was angry I was sending him for a time-out.

Seriously, I told you I work in a circus.

In Their Words..

My class is full of characters. Big characters in little bodies. Today's conversations included:

• "Why do birds poop white? I mean, that's just wrong." Why do they poop white? I tried to explain that it sometimes had to do with what they ate, but I was quickly reminded that birds don't eat much that is white... Followed with, "Well humans don't eat brown stuff and their poop is brown, so why does it change color? I wonder what color elephants poop!" and another friend chiming in saying that she pooped green once. Lovely. Just lovely. I can only imagine what these kids tell their parents they learned in school.
• "Ms. L, if the sun is a star, why do we call it the sun? Shouldn't we just call it a star? Why you gotta be all confusing and stuff?"
• In a card written to the social worker who graciously covered my class while I was dealing with an emergency, "Sry fur be in a fool wile Ms. L was gawn" translation: Sorry for being a fool while Ms. L was gone. And, "I no we akted like a cirkus, but we ar sory. I be gud nes time" translation: I know we acted like a circus, but we are sorry. I'll be good next time. Seriously, they did act like fools in a circus. My room was WWF for a few minutes while I was gone.
• "Man, you smell like you gots some gas up in there!"
• And my personal favorite, "Ms. L, why do dogs smell other dogs in their privates? Don't they know they shouldn't touch other people's private places?"

Never a dull moment...

Misc.

Random thoughts... so I'll do a little list.

• My assistant thought a kid had a #2 accident. I went to address the situation (no offense, but women are much better at handling accidents, especially of the poop variety). When I point blank asked him, "Do you have poop in your pants?", he replied, "No, I just have to pass gas a lot and it really stinks." I quietly reminded him to say excuse me and went on my merry way.
• I realized that my kids really are far from "normal" when I was talking to another teacher. Apparently it's not normal for kids to inhale their food and ask for seconds, thirds, and fourths when eating a small snack at school. That was when I remembered my kids are only eating two meals a day and those meals happen at school. It's quite sad to remember that because sometimes life isn't fair and in the case of these kids, it really isn't fair.
• A kid told me today that I'm beautiful like a cupcake and then grabbed my hand and started kissing it. He also told me I'm the bestest teacher in the whole world and he never wants to leave second grade.
• In response to our journal prompt today, "If I were a leprechaun I would hide my gold _____" he proceeded to write, "In Ms. L's house" and drew a nice picture of us in my house. When I asked him why he would hide it in my house he matter-of-factly told me, "Dat's the only place it'd be safe. Nobody can hurt you in Ms. L's house." I was shocked to hear him say nobody would hurt it there. Gold can't be hurt, but apparently kids can be and more than likely, he's being hurt. Broke my heart.
• Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough for my students. I'm not 100% sure I am. I know I'm teaching them the things they should be taught, but am I teaching them compassion? Am I teaching them and showing them what it means to be a respectable member of society? I can only hope.

Even though this sounds like a debbie downer kind of post, I really did have a fabulous day! My kids are growing academically and behaviorally and I get to watch it all unfold. I really do have the best job in the world.

Overheard...

Conversation overheard today...

Lil' Dude: Yeah.. we can totally play with balls when it's outdoor recess. This is the coolest school ever.
New Lil' Dude: Ha! You said balls.
Lil' Dude: So?
New Lil' Dude: Balls. You know. Balls. Like...
Lil' Dude: Um, we don't use that language in school. You can go back to your old school now. (This from the kid who always uses inappropriate language in the classroom...)
New Lil' Dude: No! I like this school. My teacher? She's the hottest chick, like, ever. And, she be always telling us how good we are and gives us tickets and we can buy things with those tickets and, and, and....
Lil' Dude: Fine. You can stay. Just stop talkin' about it, ok. And don't call her hot. Girls don't like that. You gotta say they are beautiful.

I'm glad the number one reason the 8 year old wants to stay at our school is because I'm the hottest chick ever.

And, another little guy walks up to me today and says, "I got a secwet for you and onwy you..." So I tell him how excited I am to hear his secret. He moves my hair aside (apparently I can't hear him when my hair is covering my ear...) and whispers says, "You awe so beuiful. I wove you dis much!" and holds out his arms.

Seriously, these little boys are going to make it pretty difficult for the next guy who comes into my life. He's going to have a lot to live up to: an engagement ring the size of an skating rink, whispering sweet nothings in my ear on a regular basis, and telling me I'm beautiful? I could get used to this.

The Ant with Feelings??

We read a story today about an ant who continued to try different things to reach his goal of touching the sky. During the story we talked about courage and perserverence. At one point I asked, "How do you think the ant feels right now?" In most classrooms, I'm sure you'd get a wide range of answers pertaining to human feelings. In my class? "Um, Ms. L.. it's an ant. Ants don't got no feelings."

It, of course, led to a discussion about ants and if they had feelings or not. And if ants understood English because if they didn't understand English, then they wouldn't know what happy meant.

I then had to rephrase the questions. If you were the ant, how would you feel? Once again, I was reminded of how silly this question was because, "If I were the ant, I'd be too big to climb a dandelion!"

Tomorrow? We're reading about how animals move. No more animals with feelings.

Ronald, etc

I did not disappoint. As promised, a picture of Ronald in all his glory. Doesn't he look so, "Hey little kid, come sit next to me. You know you want to... What? Your mom said don't talk to strangers? I'm not a stranger, I'm a sign of your local fast food joint. I'm not a stranger. Sit on my lap."

Creepy, no?

And, in related news, my class wasn't nearly as crazy as I expected. Or, I was well prepared. We reviewed the rules no less than 973 times and I gave them 10 minutes to tell me 3 things about what happened while we were out of school.

I did, however, have a kid pull down his pants and make some remark about what was in his pants. Classy. And, one little guy sang some song about "give me a nickel, I'll show you a pickle". I'm almost positive it was in reference to his, huh, male parts. But I chose to respond by saying, "A nickel for a pickle? That's a good price for pickles!" And referenced the fact that they rhyme. Because, really? What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't discuss the rhyme? Teachable moment, for sure. You can go ahead and sign me up for Teacher of the Year.

Yellow Snow..

In class today, we wrote about snow. I gave them three winter-themed stickers and they had to add details to the picture and then write about it. I always stress the importance of making our pictures look real, meaning no green people or purple hair. Trust me, it's an important thing in a first grade classroom.

One little guy colored his snow yellow, not knowing what color to use because he didn't want to use white because, "Don't you know it won't even show up on my paper, Ms. L?". As we were sharing our pictures, New Little Dude screams, "Ugh.. your snow is yellow. That means someone took a p!ss in it! Don't eat yellow snowwwwwwwwwwww!"

Thanks dude. Thanks.

Then? Then we were reading our science textbooks. This is always a huge debacle because they love looking through the books because the pictures are actually quite interesting. Once we got over the love of the pictures, we began reading about animals that are extinct or endangered. We turn the page to see a manatee swimming around. It was a cute little manatee, actually. Really cute up until Lil Miss began screaming, crying, threw her book to the ground and ran to the reading corner.

Me: "Lil Miss, what's that all about? Please return to your assigned area."
Lil Miss: "Nooooooo! There's a shark. A horrible, man-eating shark who is going to EAT me!"
Me: "This thing? No, no. That's a manatee. He's like a cow of the sea. He doesn't eat meat, he's an herbivore. No man-eating for him! Just plants!" (in a horribly chipper voice, trying to prevent myself from laughing)

Ahh.. my job is never boring.

Phonics, again..

Today's story brought to you by the j sound.

badge

Me: Okay, word detectives.. let's see what we can find in this word. Any letters that are going together to say something different than they normally would?
New Dude: Hmmm.. b-a-d? That spells bad! Just like me!
Me: You're right New Dude, b-a-d does spell bad but those letters are all saying their own names. What else do we see, word detectives?
Little Man: dge.. it says j!
Me: You're right! Let's sound it out... bbbbb....aaaaaaaa.....j. Badge! Who can tell me someone who wears a badge to work?
Little Man: I know! (pauses... pauses some more...brain is working really hard... and I can tell he knows the answer) The po-po!
Me: The pope? No, he doesn't wear a badge.
New Dude: No, the po-po. The pigs. You know! The cops. They be fightin' people and shootin' 'em up, tellin' them they bad. They take away your license if you drivin' without one. They arrest you for drugs and breaking and entering.

I wonder when I'm going to think before I speak. Really? I thought he said the Pope? Because my kids are thinking about the Pope? Doubtful.

Play on..

In our daily phonics lesson today, we learned about the suffixes -er and -est. You know, -er meaning more and -est meaning most. As in happy, happier, and happiest. We could come up with some great sentences for these words. They even came up with great sentences for grouchy, grouchier, and grouchiest.

Little Dude: Ms. L is grouchy when we don't follow directions.
Little Mr. Crazy: Ms. L is grouchier with Little Dude when he doesn't follow directions.
Lil' Miss: Ms. L is the grouchiest when she doesn't have her coffee or diet pepsi in the morning.

Not bad. Great use of "real-life" examples.

Then we get into some words with multiple meanings. These are words like bat, dress, and punch. You know, words that have different meanings depending on how you use it. We came to the word play. We came up with play with toys, play football, and a play you act in. We then added some suffixes. Played.. I played football with my brother. And then we came to player. The normal things that might ring in your mind would be a football  player or a DVD player. Not these kids. Little Mister Crazy says, "My brother is a player."

Hold the phone. Your brother? Is a player? What exactly do you mean by that? "You know, he's a player. We call him a player."

Ah... gotcha. Play on playa, play on. 

Happy Tuesday!

Today started off with a meeting and in that meeting I won a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart! Hello awesome!

Then we had the dreaded 2 hour early dismissal day (we have them all week...). Students who are constantly surrounded by chaos really attach to routine. My kids could tell you our schedule in their sleep. I drill it in them, so they are always aware of what the day entails. Never a day goes by that I do not discuss our schedule in Morning Meeting. On days that there are changes, we discuss it at least 7,909 times. They are usually okay with it when I give them ample warning. For a week now, we have talked about how this week is going to be a little different, as we are leaving school 2 hours early. I even asked for their input on what we should do and when (of course, I made it seem like they were in control-- I really was.).

I thought they were totally ready for the change in schedule. Turns out, they weren't. The number of times I heard, "This is NOT what we do now!" or "What are we doing next?" and just plain tears? Approximately 9,873.

So now? I'm going to continue drilling in the new schedule in hopes that by Friday we'll accept the changes. Of course, that will be when we have to get ready to go back to our regular schedule.

And through this? I've learned that no matter how hard you try and prepare yourself for something new, it's always a little tough getting used to a "new normal". As much as I think I can't relate to my kids. I totally can. I'm getting used to a new normal. And sometimes? I want to scream and cry. But, being a responsible adult, I have to put on my big girl panties and accept the changes, accept the new normal, and take it all in stride, with a smile on my face and lots and lots of patience.