Monday, March 2, 2009


Okay, so I have something I really want to talk about... but it's going outside of my usual snarky fare.. so I hope you'll all be okay with it.

Anyway, so there was this girl I went to college with. We were roommates. In fact, she introduced me to my husband. We had our ups and downs while we lived together. We both have pretty strong personalities and things just kind of went sour. I wouldn't place blame on either side.. sometimes things just happen. Plus, we were getting ready to graduate, I had just started falling in love with my husband, and I was getting ready to move across the world to Germany. So, I'm sure all of those things combined to hurt the situation.

Anyway.. I tried to contact her about a year ago. Just to see what she was doing and I think to kind of wipe away any hard feelings on either side. I am a people pleaser and cannot stand when people have hard feelings, especially towards me. So I reached out to her. No response.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I'm on facebook and it lists her name as someone I might know. I sent her a message to say hello, let her know I was thinking about her, and to sort of repair things. Didn't hear back.

Today? Facebook flashes her name at me again and says, you know her.. be friends with her. So after some thinking.. I decide to ask her to be friends. She declines. That's her prerogative.. but it still hurt. I sent her a message just saying that I understood the hard feelings, but that she did hold a place in my heart because she was a part of my life for an important phase in my life.

Husband thinks I'm crazy.. and probably I am. But for some reason I just cannot get past this. I don't know why.



Kelly said...

I had a similar situation where a friend and I fell out (over what I can't seem to remember) and I tried reaching out to her a few years later to patch things up to no avail. Sometimes people just like holding grudges, but at least you can say your tried and the ball is in their court! Just try not to let her get you down. I'm sure it's her loss anyway! =)

Sarah said...

I honestly don't understand how people can reject friendship. I mean, I'm facebook friends with my mortal enemies but I would never reject someone... I feel like that action is reserved for high schoolers on facebook.

My 3 cents.

Shea said...

Well at least you can say you tried. She is the one that has to answer for her holding a grudge.

Ashley said...

That really sucks.. I don't get it.. why can't this girl just let it go?

Courtney said...

You lived in Germany? Me too! I don't know... we just might make famous friends. :)

SJN said...

people come and go in our lives, and one thing I have learned is to not waste your time over those who are not worth it. We are a vast lot of many different personalities for sure, and not everyone is going to be right for each other. Look around at all your friends and loved ones who appreciate you, and don't give her another thought. It's not you, it's her.

Anonymous said...

Hubs may think you're crazy, but maybe it's a girl thing. I've had similar situations and I keep doing the same things as you. My honey tells me I'm crazy, too. But as he always tells me, it's her loss to lose such a great friend that you kept trying to contact.

littlesack said...

it is a girl thing. i agree. I dont think you are crazy, its just something in you that needs to make sure you are ok in her book.

my only advice is to realize that the type of person she is now (by just ignoring you) probably isnt worth your time.