Open Mouth, Insert Foot...

Me and my big mouth. Sometimes, it's been known to get me in trouble....

Allow me to set the scene: Hanging out with kids in my co-worker's room. Said co-worker is about 9.5 months pregnant (okay, not really.. but she feels like she is..) and ready to give birth any day now. The kids in the room were kids who did not earn our game day event and we were supervising them. None of the kids were my students, so they were 3rd through 5th graders.

Me: Wow, you might have that baby this weekend!
Co-worker: I know, right?
Me: (turning to a kid...) Hey! What do you think? Is Mrs. Co-worker going to have her baby this weekend?
Mr. ADHD: She might!
Miss ADHD: I know where babies come from!
Mr. ADHD: Me, too. I watched a video about where babies come from. Did you know..
Miss ADHD: I read a book called, "This Is Where You Come From".
Me: Time out. I'm pretty sure you have work to do. Nevermind about the baby. (turning to co-worker) Boy, do you ever wish you hadn't opened your big mouth?
Co-worker: Only 100 times a day.

I totally forgot what kids over the age of 8 are capable of talking about...

Overheard...

Conversation overheard today...

Lil' Dude: Yeah.. we can totally play with balls when it's outdoor recess. This is the coolest school ever.
New Lil' Dude: Ha! You said balls.
Lil' Dude: So?
New Lil' Dude: Balls. You know. Balls. Like...
Lil' Dude: Um, we don't use that language in school. You can go back to your old school now. (This from the kid who always uses inappropriate language in the classroom...)
New Lil' Dude: No! I like this school. My teacher? She's the hottest chick, like, ever. And, she be always telling us how good we are and gives us tickets and we can buy things with those tickets and, and, and....
Lil' Dude: Fine. You can stay. Just stop talkin' about it, ok. And don't call her hot. Girls don't like that. You gotta say they are beautiful.

I'm glad the number one reason the 8 year old wants to stay at our school is because I'm the hottest chick ever.

And, another little guy walks up to me today and says, "I got a secwet for you and onwy you..." So I tell him how excited I am to hear his secret. He moves my hair aside (apparently I can't hear him when my hair is covering my ear...) and whispers says, "You awe so beuiful. I wove you dis much!" and holds out his arms.

Seriously, these little boys are going to make it pretty difficult for the next guy who comes into my life. He's going to have a lot to live up to: an engagement ring the size of an skating rink, whispering sweet nothings in my ear on a regular basis, and telling me I'm beautiful? I could get used to this.

Perspective...

As I was driving to meet a friend for a drink, I pulled up behind an ambulance.

At that moment, I realized that no matter how bad my day was, it could always be worse. I could be riding in the back of an ambulance on my way to the hospital.

So, even though I had a crappy day, this man had an even crappier day.

I'm going to have a positive attitude tomorrow, because I can't control many things in life, but I can choose my attitude!

The Golden Rule..

I tell my kids on a pretty regular basis, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I'm going to listen to my own advice tonight.

It's been one of those days...

Tonight..

I *heart* To Do Lists.. I make one every morning when I get to school and add to it throughout the day. Nothing excites me more than to cross items off my list. So tonight? I'm making myself a To Do List.

Tonight:

• bottle glass of wine
• bubble bath
• go to bed ridiculously early

I'm pretty sure that list ought to be easy to get through. Drawing the bath right now.

The Ant with Feelings??

We read a story today about an ant who continued to try different things to reach his goal of touching the sky. During the story we talked about courage and perserverence. At one point I asked, "How do you think the ant feels right now?" In most classrooms, I'm sure you'd get a wide range of answers pertaining to human feelings. In my class? "Um, Ms. L.. it's an ant. Ants don't got no feelings."

It, of course, led to a discussion about ants and if they had feelings or not. And if ants understood English because if they didn't understand English, then they wouldn't know what happy meant.

I then had to rephrase the questions. If you were the ant, how would you feel? Once again, I was reminded of how silly this question was because, "If I were the ant, I'd be too big to climb a dandelion!"

Tomorrow? We're reading about how animals move. No more animals with feelings.

A Little Bump in the Road...

This weekend, I watched a baby overnight. We're talking a real life baby. All of four months old. He was too adorable not to pinch his little cheeks and watch him giggle his heart out. Of course, I may have wanted to give him back to his mother after he puked on me and peed on me. Keep in mind, I used to nanny. I had my hands full with three kids under the age of three. I knew everything about childcare back in those days. Puke? No problem, I'd catch it before it happened. A little boy who gets excited about no diaper? Yup, I got that covered. Literally.

Apparently I was a little rusty. And apparently, my hormones kicked into high gear. If you would have asked me three years ago if I would be in this place in my life, I would have laughed at you and told you instead of watching babies, I'd be working on making my own. And up until about 7 months ago, I thought that was going to be the case. However, life had very different plans for me and that's not the situation I'm in right now. Don't think I didn't shed a few tears and have a serious talk with my body, reminding it that I have plenty of babymaking years in me and that someday, I hope it will happen for me.

But now is not the time. And for a brief (okay, maybe not that brief..) moment, I had a hard time with it.

Now? As I'm enjoying a glass of wine and getting myself ready for the week, I'm thankful I am where I am. And I'm thankful that my friends have babies so I can enjoy them from time to time. Even if they do pee on me.

Q&A

We all know that your blog readership goes down on the weekends, so why waste a thoughtful, well-written post on a Saturday or Sunday when most people won't read it? Instead, take a day off and answer the following questions. Add your blog post URL to the McLinky at the bottom so we can all learn some fun about each other :)

1. How old do you look?

I have been told many times that I look "so young". I was even recently carded for buying a candle lighter at the grocery store. So, apparently I don't even look 18! When I was in college doing a pre-internship, I had a parent ask me what grade I was in. I was like, "Um.. I'm in college and I'm teaching your child."

2. Where do you live?

Maryland, but who knows what the future might bring!

3. Are you waiting for something?

Nothing in particular. Well, I guess that's not true.. I'm waiting for the Olympics to come back on at 8:00pm!

4. What’s one pet peeve of yours that is not common?

I don't like the toilet paper being fed from the bottom. It also drives me crazy when people are Darth Vader breathers. You know, audible breathing.

5. Do you want/have kids?

I have a classroom full of them! I would love to have a child of my own someday, if it's meant to be for me.

6. Have you ever thought about converting your religion?

I'm not a deeply religious person.

7. Last shocking news you heard?

The sound of a baby crying over the baby monitor. I'm currently babysitting and it was a shocking sound when you're not used to it!

8. What was the last thing you drank?

Coke. You all know me, I'm not a Coke fan. It was all they had.

9. Who do you most look like in your family?

Ha! That's an easy one. Grandma. It's amazing how similar we look. I came across an old photo of a baby and the only way you know it was her was because it was in black and white.
10. If you could have something right now, anything, what would it be?

Hmm.. I can't think of anything other than a Starbuck's Peppermint Mocha. Now that? That's true love.

11. Where does most of your family live?

The mitten state-- Michigan.

12. Where did you grow up?

Kalamazoo, MI area

13. Where do you want to go on vacation?

My dream vacation would be Greece.

14. Have you ever had a panic attack?

Yes. It's not a good feeling. You feel like you just might be dying.

15. What can’t you wait for?

I can't wait for Spring! I'm pretty tired of all this snow.

16. Have you ever smoked?

Yup. Sorry Mom.

17. Want someone back in your life?

My grandfather. I was the apple of his eye...

18. What do you order at the bar?

Depends.. usually a beer of some sort if I'm at a bar. At dinner, a nice glass of white wine.

19. When was the last time you cried really, really hard?

About 3 months ago, when we made the decision to separate/divorce.

20. Ever licked someone’s cheek?

Yeah, only because I was being silly.

21. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Apples or celery. Mmmm...

22. Where were you on July 4th, 2008?

In Maryland. Probably debating whether or not to go down to the National Mall to watch the fireworks.

23. What are your nicknames?

My childhood nickname is Re. I couldn't say Lori, so I always said ReRe. It was shortened to Re. However, there are only 3 people allowed to call me Re: Mom, Dad, and my brother. Other nicknames include:  Lo, Lor and P-Lo (my maiden name began with a P).

24. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?

I would go back to college, just to have one more day in college. I loved college!

25. What is something you are passionate about?

I am passionate about education and people with disabilities.


The end!

Okay...now it is your turn! Copy the questions and answer them in your own blog post. When you are done, add your post's URL to the McLinky form (where it says "click HERE to enter your link") below so we can read your answers!

Audience..

Today, my assistant principal walked in right as a crisis was beginning. She observed the whole thing. We're talking a category 5 hurricane within my classroom, complete with screaming, running, and an attempt at destroying my classroom.

For some odd reason, I was totally nervous during the whole thing. I am confident in my skills in dealing with these behaviors within my classroom, but it's a completely different story when your boss is watching you deal with the melt down in real time. What if I handled it differently than she would have? What if I was too hard on the kid, or showed too much empathy? What if I didn't send the student out of the room when I should have? I was able to talk the student through it and handle the situation safely. It just was really strange having an audience watching me deal with the crisis. Even though I regularly deal with these situations and my assistant, the social worker, or the psychologist is watching, there was just something about having my boss right there.
Teachers are observed doing what we were hired to do, teach. We plan lessons, our administrators come watch, and voila! We're told we're awesome, somewhat awesome, or kinda stinky (my technical terms, not theirs..). We're observed in our interactions with kids at times. Usually these are our abilities to manage our classrooms or deal effectively with discipline in our rooms. It's not often that we're "observed" during a total crisis.

I'm hoping she thought I was awesome.

Good Deed

For you long time readers, you may remember my adventures in giving blood a few years back. After getting inked a tattoo a year ago, I was put on hold from giving blood for fear that there was something sketchy about the tattoo process. My year was up last week during the Blizzards of 2010, so off I went to give some platelets on Tuesday.

I walked in pretty confident. Afterall, I was doing a good deed AND I was going to get treated like a princess while doing it. Seriously, they will do anything for you during that time because they are using both arms. Today? Some nice woman turned up the volume on my DVD player and pushed up my glasses for me. Sa-weet!

I walked out not so confident. Apparently I'm a horrible platelet donor. I had to be turned practically upside down so I wouldn't pass out and given some saline to help with the urge to vomit all over the floor. I even made sure I ate healthy today and ate a large lunch. Apparently I need to eat right before I donate or else I'll feel the urge to blow chunks all over the place and suffer a massive headache and tingly lips.

Have no fear, dear readers, I'll be back at it when it's time to give again because, if you know anything about me in real life, you know that I refuse to give up. I also refuse to be less than perfect at anything I do.

Ronald, etc

I did not disappoint. As promised, a picture of Ronald in all his glory. Doesn't he look so, "Hey little kid, come sit next to me. You know you want to... What? Your mom said don't talk to strangers? I'm not a stranger, I'm a sign of your local fast food joint. I'm not a stranger. Sit on my lap."

Creepy, no?

And, in related news, my class wasn't nearly as crazy as I expected. Or, I was well prepared. We reviewed the rules no less than 973 times and I gave them 10 minutes to tell me 3 things about what happened while we were out of school.

I did, however, have a kid pull down his pants and make some remark about what was in his pants. Classy. And, one little guy sang some song about "give me a nickel, I'll show you a pickle". I'm almost positive it was in reference to his, huh, male parts. But I chose to respond by saying, "A nickel for a pickle? That's a good price for pickles!" And referenced the fact that they rhyme. Because, really? What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't discuss the rhyme? Teachable moment, for sure. You can go ahead and sign me up for Teacher of the Year.

Silly

Uh-oh! Looks like someone fell asleep in an awkward position! Lil' Miss Priss fell asleep like this while waiting for me to rub her belly and cuddle up with her. That totally reminds me of the fainting goats that randomly fall asleep for 10 seconds and often they fall asleep in pretty awkward positions.

 

In other news, the neighbors have a Ronald McDonald hanging out in front of their house. I'm not sure if it's a joke, or if they just love McDonald's so much that they just had.to.have Ronald sitting in their front yard. I wouldn't have noticed, except Zoey was barking up a storm at the random dude sitting in the front yard with his arm out waiting for some passerby to sit next to him. Is it just me or is he a little creepy? Maybe it's because he's a clown and clowns creep me out. Or, it may have something to do with an old man dressed like a clown who hangs out with little children all day long, handing out candy and trying to get them into his can, er, restaurant. Seriously, pedophile in my opinion.

 

If you're lucky, I'll snap a pic this evening. Of course, that requires me going into stealth mode. And there's lots of ice. And lots of neighbors. So.. it may be a little difficult.. but I love my dear readers so much that I'd be willing to blow my cover to get a shot of Ronald. Don't say I never did anything for you.

Finally...

I'll be going back to school (with a two hour delay) tomorrow. It's only been 6 (unplanned) days.

Any bets on just how ca-razy tomorrow will be? There are a few things my kids don't handle well, including long periods away from school, lack of structure, and the unknown. Of course, the past week and half has given us all three of those.

I'm thinkin' on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the craziest, it will probably be about a 12.

I suppose that's a bonus for those of you who enjoy the tales from the chaos that is my classroom.

Pillow Talk

Over the weekend, I pumped out these charming pillows for a girlfriend's nursery. (Speaking of girlfriends, who else uses this term for their gal pals? Apparently no one in Southwest Michigan refers to their friends as girlfriends. Did I pick this up hanging out in Maryland? Hmm...)

 

Those bad boys? I made them myself. I'm pretty much a domestic goddess, actually. And? They were made without a pattern. Of course, Mommy helped with some measurements because I have the mathematical skills of a 3rd grader have difficulty figuring those things out. But I'd say we did a pretty bang up job! I'll be sure and snap some pictures once they are placed in the nursery. 

And, because I'm so excited to see this face tonight, I thought I'd throw her on here, too.

 

That's my little monster cuddling on Gram's couch. You may remember that dogs aren't allowed on Gram's couch, except my little Schmoopy. And yes, her nickname from me is Schmoopy... don't you dare judge.  

Many Hats..

So far during my trip to Michigan I have been ...

• a plumber
• a seamstress
• a manicurist
• a hair stylist

Doldrums...

Sure signs you have reached the ultimate level of boredom:

1. Looking up a synonym for boredom on three different websites in hopes of finding the perfect one to title this post.
2. Using a toothbrush and Comet with bleach to clean between every single tile in your bathtub. Keep in mind, there are 128 tiles.
3. Counting the tiles in your bathtub.
4. Walking to the convience store to get bleach.

Ahhh, freedom is around the corner. I can see pavement on Main Street, the sun is shining and a plow came down my road. Life is good.

A Day in the Life...

... of a snowbound gal.

6:45-- wake up, wonder if I should get up. Look over at Zoey who is sleeping peacefully and decide, "Nah... I'll go back to sleep.
8:00-- wake back up, look over at Zoey and decide it's probably time to get up, take her out, feed her breakfast. Call Mom to update her on the snow.
9:00- 12:00-- watch some t.v., facebook it up, check out blogs. Text Maryland BFF to see what she is doing. Response: nothing. Take a shower, put on sweats. Wonder if it's worth blow drying my hair. Nope, it's not.
12:00-- Look at the clock, wonder how it can only be noon, make some lunch.
12:30-- it's only 12:30? Arg.
12:30- take Zoey out for a little walk in the snow. Decide, snow is not for me, turn around.
1:00- 4:00-- putz around the house. Dishes, laundry, text Maryland BFF to see what she is doing. Apparently, it hasn't changed since the last time I texted her. Her response: nothing. Call Mom to update her on the snow.
4:00-- Shovel a bit because I feel like a Fatty McFatterson for doing nothing all day.
4:30-- It's only 4:30? Grrr.
5:00-- Take Zoey out, wander around for a half an hour to find the perfect spot to relieve herself. Apparently, snow is not a good option. Must find the exact spot. It's not easy to do.
5:30-- feed Zoey, make some dinner.
6:00-- wonder out loud, "Why is television so horrible?!" Return to facebook/blogs. Updates look the same. Text maryland BFF. Again, she's doing nothing.
6:30-- update Mom on the snow.
7:00-- facebook/blogs.
8:00-10:00-- television. Wonder again, why is it so horrible? Found the answer: it's all I've looked at for 12 hours straight. Relish in the fact that some people are online to talk to. YES! Phone rings and I jump out of my chair with excitement because it's someone to talk to!
10:00-11:00-- facebook/blog. Decide there's nothing else to do, so I go to bed.

Rinse and repeat.

Thank goodness for internet, facebook, and blogs. Otherwise? I might go (more) crazy.

Oh, yeah..

Just thought of something that I was thinking I might not mention, but then thought I should mention it because then you all would hold me responsible. But, now I'm having second thoughts because, well, this snow is putting a damper on my thoughts of getting out of the house anytime soon, let alone to the darn gym.

Okay. I'm just going to do it. As long as you promise not to judge me if it doesn't work out and my fat butt doesn't make it across the finish line.

I'm going to register for a triathalon and then I'm going to train for it and then I'm going to complete it. You read that correctly, a triathalon. As in, swim, bike, run. You know, those crazy things people do for fun? Fourth grade spelling bee champion friend Jessica (I might hate her in approximately 28 weeks, so remind me then that I referred to her as a friend, mmmkay?) convinced me to do this with her. She tricked me into it, I think. Or, I was going stir-crazy from the snow. Regardless, I agreed I'd do this with her.

So, come August 28th, I'll be waking up early, donning a bathing suit (gasp!), grabbing my tennies (tennis shoes=running shoes for those of you not from the land of tennis shoes meaning running shoes), and getting the bike ready to complete my first triathalon.

Here's where you come in.. any other triathletes out there who have some advice? Any advice would be welcome. If you're not a triathlete and you live in Michigan, come cheer us on- we'll need your cheers to cross the finish line. And, if you can't contribute any advice or cheers, keep asking me how my training is coming. If I snap at you, don't take it personally, I'm probably just grouchy from running. Running is the devil, you know.

untitled

Still here.. just don't have much to talk about, as I've been pretty snow bound since Friday. I did make it out to my Maryland BFF's house and decided I should probably head back to my place to brace for the next storm.

No school for the rest of the week, so I'm sure I won't have much to report, other than snow, snow, and more snow. I'm supposed to head to Michigan on Friday, so I'm hoping that we can get the snow out of the way, runways cleared, and planes here so I can get to Michigan.

I can tolerate snow. I can even tolerate really cold temperatures. I, however, am not okay with 30 inches and a forecast for 10-20 more. We don't have room for 50 inches of snow, folks!

On the bright side, I have heat, food, and plenty of diet pepsi! You know, all the essentials in life.

Phew.

Still snowed in, but snowed in with my Maryland BFF, her husband, two dogs, and three cats!! And yes, Zoey came with me.

I heart snow days when I get to spend them with other people. Especially when we get crazy ideas to walk to McDonald's (she really wanted a cheeseburger and I really needed some caffeine) in 30 inches of snow. That was a sight.

Happy Monday, bloggie loves!

Valentine's Love...

While I may not have a Valentine over the age of 9 this year, I am quite popular amongst the "younger" sect.

And yes, that's me on the left. I asked to be sure. I think it looks a lot like me, don't you? Minus the whole not having feet, pants, or elbows.

"Snowmageddon" 2010

President Obama coined used the term, "Snowmageddon" and he's absolutely right. There's a ton of snow out there. About 26 inches, to be exact. And it's still falling.

This is the view from my front door this morning. You'll notice a few foot steps. Those are from Zoey attempting to go potty. She didn't make it very far.

The snow is taller than Zoey! She has no idea what to do with all of this.

I don't think they are going anywhere anytime soon.

Latest reports from the plow-front say that we should expect side roads to be plowed by Tuesday. Tuesday? As in, 3 days from now? Wow! Looks like I won't have school until at least Wednesday. And, it's supposed to snow again on Tuesday night into Wednesday morning.

GO!

Go! Go vote for Zoey at Bissell's Most Valuable Pet Photo Contest. You know she's cute, I know she's cute, now the whole world should know she's cute. Click here to vote!

Voting begins February 5. You can vote through the 11th. You can vote for as many pets as you'd like, but be sure and vote for Zoey, too!

Yellow Snow..

In class today, we wrote about snow. I gave them three winter-themed stickers and they had to add details to the picture and then write about it. I always stress the importance of making our pictures look real, meaning no green people or purple hair. Trust me, it's an important thing in a first grade classroom.

One little guy colored his snow yellow, not knowing what color to use because he didn't want to use white because, "Don't you know it won't even show up on my paper, Ms. L?". As we were sharing our pictures, New Little Dude screams, "Ugh.. your snow is yellow. That means someone took a p!ss in it! Don't eat yellow snowwwwwwwwwwww!"

Thanks dude. Thanks.

Then? Then we were reading our science textbooks. This is always a huge debacle because they love looking through the books because the pictures are actually quite interesting. Once we got over the love of the pictures, we began reading about animals that are extinct or endangered. We turn the page to see a manatee swimming around. It was a cute little manatee, actually. Really cute up until Lil Miss began screaming, crying, threw her book to the ground and ran to the reading corner.

Me: "Lil Miss, what's that all about? Please return to your assigned area."
Lil Miss: "Nooooooo! There's a shark. A horrible, man-eating shark who is going to EAT me!"
Me: "This thing? No, no. That's a manatee. He's like a cow of the sea. He doesn't eat meat, he's an herbivore. No man-eating for him! Just plants!" (in a horribly chipper voice, trying to prevent myself from laughing)

Ahh.. my job is never boring.

untitled..

We had a SNOW DAY today, so no fun tales from the front line.

Instead of fun kid tales, I thought I'd share with you a few things you might not know about me.

Things I don't like..

• bad grammar. I know, I know I'm guilty of typing like I talk and that's fine, it's when people mess up there, their, and they're or your and you're. It hurts my brain to read things like that from adults.  Exception: texting. There's just not enough room to type everything properly.
• the toilet paper roll being fed the wrong way. Again, not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but my OCD tendencies enjoy the toilet paper coming from the top. Not the bottom.
• horrible drivers.
• negative nancies. I don't like when people are negative about everything. Yes, I have my bad days but I like to think that I have a pretty positive attitude about life and I work with students who come from horrible homes, so I have very little empathy for people who are all "my life sucks because...". It's okay to have a bad day, but not okay to have a bad outlook on life.
• loud breathers. I can.not.stand people who breathe loudly. I feel like I'm sitting with Darth Vader and I usually can't comprehend what is going on because I'm constantly thinking, close your mouth and breath so I can hear what's going on around me.

Things I love...

• the internet. Self explanatory, I think.
• people who shake hands with integrity. There's nothing worse than shaking hands with someone whose hand is limp.
• people who are honest. Seriously, when I'm looking for advice, please be honest. Even if you think it's not what I want to hear, be honest.
• yoga pants. I could live in those things.
• making up words. Yes, it goes against my feelings on grammar, but I love making up words.
• anyone who uses adverbs. And uses them correctly.
• having an honest-to-goodness talk about education. I know, I'm a HUGE nerd, but I strive to be the best teacher I can be.
• sleeping on clean sheets. I'm talking fresh out of the laundry. Bonus points if they are still warm from the dryer.
• a nice surprise. This could be anything. A card or package in the mail, an email from a friend who just wants to say hello, an unexpected 2 hour delay in school, or surprising others!

So, there you go. Things I don't like and things I love. Of course, family, friends, and the pup go in the category of things I love, but you already know that about me!

It's Official...

I've lost my mind.

I talk to Little Dog all.the.time. Not really a big deal, I assume most pet owners talk to their animals. That's not the cause for concern.

However, I've hit a new low. I asked her a question and expected a response.

I think I've gotta find a hobby. Or friends.

Aha!

During an educational informational insightful conversation with a few co-workers (one social worker and one fellow male teacher) we were discussing the luxuries of spanx. Spanx? World's best invention, after the internet of course, has to be Spanx. I mean, they hug in all the right places and make the buldges disappear.

Male co-worker hadn't ever heard of Spanx. I suppose that's completely normal, as he is single and probably doesn't hang out with lots of ladies getting ready for big events. After a detailed conversation about Spanx, he sheepishly asked us ladies, "Do they make these for men?" We, of course, laughed and laughed. And then? We had a brilliant idea.

Manx.

Spanx for men.

Thoughts?

Memory Lane...

Let's take a walk down memory lane.... I want to know how I went from this...

 pigtails...

 a teenager...

To Holy Blonde!

Seriously, who let me out of the house looking like that? Mom, if you're reading.. what.on.earth was I thinking?

And now? All grown up!

Phonics, again..

Today's story brought to you by the j sound.

badge

Me: Okay, word detectives.. let's see what we can find in this word. Any letters that are going together to say something different than they normally would?
New Dude: Hmmm.. b-a-d? That spells bad! Just like me!
Me: You're right New Dude, b-a-d does spell bad but those letters are all saying their own names. What else do we see, word detectives?
Little Man: dge.. it says j!
Me: You're right! Let's sound it out... bbbbb....aaaaaaaa.....j. Badge! Who can tell me someone who wears a badge to work?
Little Man: I know! (pauses... pauses some more...brain is working really hard... and I can tell he knows the answer) The po-po!
Me: The pope? No, he doesn't wear a badge.
New Dude: No, the po-po. The pigs. You know! The cops. They be fightin' people and shootin' 'em up, tellin' them they bad. They take away your license if you drivin' without one. They arrest you for drugs and breaking and entering.

I wonder when I'm going to think before I speak. Really? I thought he said the Pope? Because my kids are thinking about the Pope? Doubtful.