Florida

Florida in the rain just plain sucks.

I'm just sayin'...

Ahhhhhh.........

Sorry Ladies (and gentleman??)... but I'll be absent for a few days.

I'm going on vacation!

Don't miss me too much. And, if you're lucky, well.. I just might see what I can do stealth-mode-wise to get a few pictures for you all to enjoy. But that's only if the people watching is that good and my brain is not stuck in vacation mode. Because really? If my brain is in vacay mode, no chance I'm going to remember to snap a pic for you all. Not that I don't love you, because I do, but there's something to be said for a week in Florida on vacation.

Typical Male..

We're having troubles with boy/girlfriends in my classroom. Yes, they are first and second graders, but they are from the 'hood... and definitely more mature than most 8 year olds. Therefore, I've tackled this situation like I tackle most life situations: with a sense of humor and loads of sarcasm.

 

As a result, my new line to my boys is, "The only girl you need in your life is me!"

 

One of my little guys responded by saying, "Ms. L, I don't love you but I like having you around." Typical male. Can't profess his love for a woman.

 

I spent all afternoon rolling my eyes at the irony of my situation.

Overheard..

"You're a flower killer!! I don't play with flower killerssssssss!"

 

"Ms. L, I just can't get this macarena song out of my head" while dancing the macarena in the hallway.

 

"Dude, did you see Ms. L's moves in there? She's like Micheal Jackson!" in reference to my dancing at our school dance. I assure you, my moves are nothing like MJ.

 

"Who put poop on the wall in the bathroom with their finger?" For most of you teachers out there, you know when the details are that specific, you usually have the culprit.

 

All in a day's work, my friends.

Sun, Sand, and Surf

In 4 days, I'll be relaxing on the beach. Vacation cannot come soon enough. Seriously.

I cannot wait for my biggest concern to be what bathing suit I wear or what adult beverage to consume.

Reason 897...

... why it's nice to be single.

I ate cereal and popcorn for dinner. And nobody was here to judge me. Except Zoey and she didn't judge because I dropped some popcorn on the floor, so she got a tasty snack when I did.

Now don't you go judging me. I ate Special K and 100 calorie pack of kettle corn. So I totally got my fiber and my protein.

Oops.

Called the kids to recess today and instead of saying, "You may go quietly pick out a recess activity and take it to the carpet.." I said, "You may go quietly pi$$ out a recess activity..."

 

Oops. My bad. I totally got called out for it, too.

 

And, we're listening to, "True Colors" from the Glee soundtrack right now. My kids LOVE the soundtrack. I'm pretty sure I"m the coolest teacher in.the.world. Hands down. I let them listen to Glee and I say pi$$. Nice.

Teacher Math

I told you I love numbers, so here's some more math for you!

 

7 students - 3 absent = 1 happy teacher!

 

7 students - 3 absent = 4 happy students who are enjoying the peace and quiet

 

However, I just realized it's one of those choose your poison kind of situations. You either have a crazy day that flies by, but is still crazy, chaotic, and a full blown circus. Or you have a quieter day that goes by very slowly.

 

I'm thankful for the quiet. I'll take slow today.

Counting the Days..

First and foremost, it's Friday. It's about time!!

 

9..... days until Florida.

9...... days until I see my parents.

10..... days until I see my favorite ATL resident.

56..... days until the end of the school year.

 

Ah... I love numbers and I love seeing my life in numbers.

Things I've Learned..

As part of this journey through divorce, I've been keeping a list of things I've learned. I have been using it as an outlet to get out my feelings, but also as a reminder of who I am, where I've been, and where I'm going. As they say, it's all about the process.. So here's a list of things I have learned and jotted down.

• It's okay to cry, even in public. I've really taken this one to heart, even crying in airports. Nice.
• I am stronger than I think.
• Sometimes you have to ask for help... and that's okay.
• Lonely isn't so bad.
• It's okay to have bad days. Someone shared this with me and I didn't believe it. Now I do.
• Be where you are.
• Life is full of choices.
• Everything does happen for a reason, but it's my job to find the reason, accept it, and move forward.
• You have to accept your faults.
• People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Find the reason.
• Sometimes you have to laugh, or you'll cry.
• You can't always change how you feel, but you can choose your attitude.
• My family loves me. No matter what.
• Silence reallly can be golden.
• I have to accept my faults.
• A good friend will laught with you, cry with you, and tell you to suck it up when it's appropriate.
• I have to accept my responsibility for the divorce.
• A smile can go a long way.
• I may not like the situation, but I can handle it.
• No matter how hard I try to avoid my feelings, they will catch up with me.
• It's okay to cry in the middle of the Atlanta airport. I'll never see those people again.
• Every one can teach you something. Even 7 year olds.
• Never underestimate the power of a hug.
• A true friend accepts you for who you are and helps you become who you should be.
• Friends can be found in the unlikeliest of situations.
• Sometimes it's okay to give 50%, if that's all you have.
• Everyone knows someone they want you to date. It's inevitable when you are single that they will try and set you up. Go out, have fun.
• It is okay to be friends with guys. Sometimes they just get it.

 

In Their Words..

My class is full of characters. Big characters in little bodies. Today's conversations included:

• "Why do birds poop white? I mean, that's just wrong." Why do they poop white? I tried to explain that it sometimes had to do with what they ate, but I was quickly reminded that birds don't eat much that is white... Followed with, "Well humans don't eat brown stuff and their poop is brown, so why does it change color? I wonder what color elephants poop!" and another friend chiming in saying that she pooped green once. Lovely. Just lovely. I can only imagine what these kids tell their parents they learned in school.
• "Ms. L, if the sun is a star, why do we call it the sun? Shouldn't we just call it a star? Why you gotta be all confusing and stuff?"
• In a card written to the social worker who graciously covered my class while I was dealing with an emergency, "Sry fur be in a fool wile Ms. L was gawn" translation: Sorry for being a fool while Ms. L was gone. And, "I no we akted like a cirkus, but we ar sory. I be gud nes time" translation: I know we acted like a circus, but we are sorry. I'll be good next time. Seriously, they did act like fools in a circus. My room was WWF for a few minutes while I was gone.
• "Man, you smell like you gots some gas up in there!"
• And my personal favorite, "Ms. L, why do dogs smell other dogs in their privates? Don't they know they shouldn't touch other people's private places?"

Never a dull moment...

Oxymoron..

Dear woman in the airport wearing simpsons pajama pants,

Even though your pants say, "I'm so smart" with Homer Simpson smiling, I have a few questions about your intelligence. First of all, are you aware that it is too late in the day to be wearing pajama pants? Coincidentally, it is too early in the day to be wearing pajama pants. You see, it is 4 pm. That means by now you should probably have showered AND changed your clothes.

In addition to the above arguments, you are in public. Pajamas are not appropriate clothing items for public arenas unless you are under the age of four.

I get the need for comfort, I really do. That is why you should invest in a great pair of yoga pants. They do the trick without shouting, "I am wearing pajamas!".

I am sorry that we are having this discussion, but nothing screams classy like Simpsons pj pants.

Mmmmkay??
Sincerely,
Lori

Neurotic

Do you think my neighbors would mind if I knocked on their door to ask them for help with folding my sheets?

I'm totally neurotic about folding sheets.There's just something about folding your clean sheets and allowing them to touch the ground. I don't care how clean that ground is, I still don't want my clean sheets touching the ground. And for some reason, I can't seem to figure out how to fold the top sheet without allowing it to touch the ground. I even tried folding sheets while standing on my bed. That was sort of dangerous, as I'm a total clutz. Yes, I played sports for years and I'm obviously somewhat coordinated if I was successful in said sports, but the coordination does not extend to the rest of my life. Walking in heels? Bah. Hilarious. I almost fall every.single.time (but continue to wear them because, really, my legs look that much better in heels).

I digress...

Would it be weird to ask them to help me fold my sheets? I suppose I know the answer to that, but it's not really the answer I am looking for.

Misc.

Random thoughts... so I'll do a little list.

• My assistant thought a kid had a #2 accident. I went to address the situation (no offense, but women are much better at handling accidents, especially of the poop variety). When I point blank asked him, "Do you have poop in your pants?", he replied, "No, I just have to pass gas a lot and it really stinks." I quietly reminded him to say excuse me and went on my merry way.
• I realized that my kids really are far from "normal" when I was talking to another teacher. Apparently it's not normal for kids to inhale their food and ask for seconds, thirds, and fourths when eating a small snack at school. That was when I remembered my kids are only eating two meals a day and those meals happen at school. It's quite sad to remember that because sometimes life isn't fair and in the case of these kids, it really isn't fair.
• A kid told me today that I'm beautiful like a cupcake and then grabbed my hand and started kissing it. He also told me I'm the bestest teacher in the whole world and he never wants to leave second grade.
• In response to our journal prompt today, "If I were a leprechaun I would hide my gold _____" he proceeded to write, "In Ms. L's house" and drew a nice picture of us in my house. When I asked him why he would hide it in my house he matter-of-factly told me, "Dat's the only place it'd be safe. Nobody can hurt you in Ms. L's house." I was shocked to hear him say nobody would hurt it there. Gold can't be hurt, but apparently kids can be and more than likely, he's being hurt. Broke my heart.
• Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough for my students. I'm not 100% sure I am. I know I'm teaching them the things they should be taught, but am I teaching them compassion? Am I teaching them and showing them what it means to be a respectable member of society? I can only hope.

Even though this sounds like a debbie downer kind of post, I really did have a fabulous day! My kids are growing academically and behaviorally and I get to watch it all unfold. I really do have the best job in the world.

Spring?

Spring? Is that you? Oh how I've missed you! Your longer sunny days, the smell of freshly cut grass, and the sounds of children playing outside for outdoor recess, make me simply adore you. I don't even mind that you sometimes have rainy days.

 

Of course, there are other reasons I adore you. I love watching the flowers bloom. Oh how I love watching those cherry blossoms bloom! And tulips? Yes, please! Oh! And don't forget about the daffodils. Love.

 

Don't forget about the sunshine and the windows being open. Or the many outdoor activities I can do once again. You know, playing catch, taking a nice long walk, riding my bike, running, hiking, tennis. Swoon.

 

Thanks for coming back, spring. I love you.

 

 

I'm a sap...

Totally just cried in school when I heard one of my kids reading "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. Seriously, brought me to tears. I have had the kid for two years now for kindergarten and first grade, so I taught him when he didn't know any letters or sounds and now he's reading books to me.

 

Wow.

 

Wow for two reasons: 1) He's reading, he's really reading! and 2) I totally cried in school.

Decisions, decisions...

Heading back to Maryland from Michigan in just a few moments. It's such a bittersweet thing to do. I heart my family but I don't necessarily heart Michigan. I love the fast-paced life in Maryland, but I love the slow-paced life in Michigan. I love my Maryland friends but I miss my Michigan friends.

Why can't Pennsylvania and Ohio just switch places with Maryland? That way I'd only be about 3 hours from my family.

And why can't I call Michigan or Maryland home? Isn't home where your heart is? Is that your physical heart or some metaphor? If it's a metaphor, I simply don't understand it. If it's my physical heart, how do I know where my heart belongs?

All of that rambling to say, I still don't know where home is and I may have to make a decision soon about moving back to Michigan at the end of the school year. So many choices. Even after a pro/con list (which I, of course, love making) I still can't see a clear winner. And my heart? It's not telling me anything. I can rest comfortably knowing that regardless of the choice I make, it will be the right choice simply because there is no wrong choice. It's not like having to choose to call a taxi or drive home after 9 beers. There is a clear wrong choice in that group. But choosing to stay in Maryland or move back to Michigan? Not really a wrong choice.

Here's to hoping I can make that choice...

Just What I've Always Wanted...

You know you've hit it big time when spammers start commenting on your blog regularly. I was wise a few weeks ago when it first happened to put moderation on for posts over 5 days old. Looks like I might have to up the ante a bit and put it on for a shorter period.

I mean, I already thought I was somewhat big time when the chinese characters started showing up. Now? I'm really a big deal.

Seriously, spammers, I do not want to buy your V!codin or C ialis. yes, changed the spelling on purpose...

In other randomness, when does "Tori and Dean" come back on? I miss me some Tori Spelling in my life.

Countdown...

I love me some countdowns... not because I'm wishing the days away, but usually because I'm looking forward to something!

 

Here are the current countdowns:

 

1 day until new student comes (rolling eyes..)

2 days until home sweet Michigan (yay!)

23 days until Vacation (Florida)

68 days (approximately, we haven't gotten final word on the number of days we'll have to make up) until the end of the school year.

 

What are you counting down??

 

Life IS Good...

Reasons why my life is good...

• I have amazing friends. Seriously, my friends are awesome. Whether it be an email checking in on me, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to laugh at life with- I have it covered. While I sometimes may be critical of myself, my life, or the great state I live in.. I have made some amazing friends here in Maryland. Lifelong friends. One, in particular, is the true definition of a great friend.
• My students. While they make my life extremely chaotic and sometimes make me want to say explitives, they truly are adorable and say the darndest things. "Ms. L, I LOVE science almost as much as I love you." Hello awesomeness! Kids who are excited about learning? Definite bonus.
• I have the world's best job.
• My family is extremely supportive without being suffocating. Mom lets me whine when I need to and tells me when I need to put on those big girl panties.
• I have a second chance at love. Not that I'm ready to make that jump for obvious reasons, but knowing that I have another chance to love again makes me smile.
• My friends have babies I get to enjoy and send back to their mama's when I want to!
• I feel like me again. It took a while to realize the me I had always known was missing, but now that I have her back, I refuse to give her up for anyone or anything. I like me. The real me.
• The power of positive thinking is truly amazing. Thinking positively makes your life positive.
• I am smiling on a regular basis because my life is good.
• I actually enjoy only answering to myself versus answering to a significant other. That's not to say that I don't want to get married ever again and share a life with someone, because I do, but when this first all went down, I was scared of being lonely. I hated being alone. I despised coming home to an empty house. Now I'm used to this lifestyle and I'm okay with it. I actually enjoy it. I am able to be me. I am making choices for ME and for nobody else.

Tell me friends, why is your life good?

Teacher Math...

6 kids* - 1 = huge sigh of relief

 

Just having one student absent makes the day that much better. For some reason, one student makes all the difference. And, it doesn't even matter which student it is. Yes, given my choice.. there would certainly be a student or two at the top of my list to be out, but these days, I'll take whatever I can get.

 

1 very caffeinated teacher + 5 Dr. Suess books = a word disaster

 

Fox in Socks came out with approximately 8,376 reading errors. Seriously, those words trip me up on a regular day. But after 2 cups of coffee and 1 diet pepsi, I was screwed. Good thing I turned it into a reading lesson and reminded my kids that we have to take time to let our brain catch up to our eyes so we know what words we are reading. Good catch. Good catch.

 

*For you other teachers out there, don't go being all jealous.. I teach 6 children who are emotionally disturbed in a self-contained classroom. Some days I'd give my right arm to trade my 6 for your 26, no matter how naughty they are.

Blonde..

Just bought a birthday card for a GIRLfriend... and after signing it, realized it said "Hey Guy! It's your birthday..."

Blame the blonde. Good thing she knows I'm a complete moron sometimes.

In other news, The Bachelor is on. Right now. Adios.

Seriously?

Last night about 9:45pm, the unthinkable happened. We're talking the Holy Grail of embarassing moments.

 

I was taking Zoey for her last potty break of the night. Keep in mind, it was 9:45 so I was rocking the pj's. The pj's that used to be big before I lost about 15 pounds. Zoey jumped up, got caught in the drawstring and the waistband of my underoos. When she finally let go? My pants were at my knees with my underoos.

 

I mooned my street.

 

And yes, I called them underoos. I hang out with 7 year olds all day. It's better than panties.