Shameless Plugs...

Started blogging with some crafty friends, sharing ideas... so I suppose it's only right that I plug that site, too. And, the cuz started a blog, ran out of ideas, and returned to blogging again, so I suppose I should plug her blog.

Sorry if you were hoping for substance today, I don't really have any. Just blogs.

The Knlog- a crafty bunch
...this girl's life...- my super cute cousin

Holy Batman!

It's almost 2010... so that means we have to agree on a few things. Like, how are we all going to pronounce it? I don't need a majority vote here, I need the facts because I desire to be all things cool I'm educating America's youth, I need to know.


Is it twenty-ten or two thousand ten?


What will you lovelies be calling it?? 

Only in Michigan..

Totally just saw a man purse, mullet, fu manchu, AND a fringed leather trench coat on a dude in a restaurant.

I heart Kalamazoo, Michigan.

But I hate that I didn't have the stealth factor it required to snap a picture for you all. Because I love you all dearly, I decided to make my own version of what he looked like. And yes, I totally used paint because I'm cool like that. I think it actually adds some character to Mr. Fu.

"Hey Ladies, I'm single and ready to mingle!"

And yes, I totally had to look up the correct way to spell fu manchu. The first grade teacher in me wanted it to be three words or one word, but certainly not two words.

2010

In light of the craziness that has been my life the past few months, I feel like now is a good time to set some goals for myself. These are things I hope to accomplish this coming year. Things that I may not have been able to accomplish prior to my current situation, or things I may never have dreamed of until now.

So here it is.. in pictures (and words for you less visual readers).. my goals for 2010.

1) Travel to three new places.
I love to travel, but I often find myself returning to places I've already been. I already have a trip to Atlanta planned, so that is why I'm pushing myself to try three new places. They don't have to be huge excursions, just want to get myself out of my comfort zone, try something new, and hopefully find a new place to treasure.

2) Go skydiving.
(credit: Skydive Orange)

I enjoy flying and I am a thrill seeker. I'm pretty sure this is right up my alley. Plus, I have a friend or two who might be willing to join me.

3) Share a meal with a complete stranger.
(the people in this picture are not strangers, they are just strange-- it's my family!)

This could be completed in many different ways. It may be a date, a new friend, or just a stranger I see in a restaurant. I don't care. I just want to share a meal with a stranger.
We should, however have an emergency back up plan. How about this-- if I leave a blog post with nothing in it, you know I'm about to be killed by a complete stranger and call the police for me. Deal?

4) Make someone's day, everyday.

I have had an outpouring of support from family and friends these past two months, now I can return the favor. Just a smile in someone's direction, or heartwarming words when they are down... something to make their day.

*All images belong to me or my family, except skydiving.

Bitter Betsy, Party of 1

Okay.. more bitterness. I would apologize, but it's my blog and I need an outlet.

First of all, yesterday was our anniversary. I had grand plans of hanging out with friends, enjoying the snowfall, drinking a beer or five, and genuinely enjoying my time with friends (who have become my family because I'm 500 miles from family).

Then? Mother Nature decided to rear her ugly face and dump us with almost two feet of snow, leaving all of metro DC paralyzed. Leaving me alone, feeling trapped and pretty down in the dumps. Thankfully, my fabulous neighbors swooped in and invited me over for some coffee and company. I was very thankful to talk to someone other than the Little Dog. She's great company and all, but being snowed in was enough to make me want to go ca-ra-zy!

Now? I'm all sorts of sad about having to leave Little Dog for a while. She's going back home with him for the holidays because he's driving and I'm flying. So now we're trying to figure out how to do the dog transfer with all this snow. I'm plowed in, so I can't get out.. meaning he'll probably have to come get her. Is it bad that I asked him to bring a shovel and at least help me get out? I figure it's the least he can do, after all. And talking to him makes me want to scream.. so I can only imagine what seeing him face to face will be like.

Plus, I'm super sad about not being able to see his family this year. I love them like they are my own and always look forward to Christmas Eve at his grandparents. Now I won't even get to see them again. Who knew, last year was my last Christmas with them? I certainly didn't. I know it'll be an adjustment period and new traditions will start, but this has been what I've done for the past 5 years. I will certainly miss it this year.

The silver lining in all of this? I'm surrounded by wonderful friends and will get to see my family in just a few days (even if I'm pretty much a scrooge this year-- divorce will do that to you).

Blah.

This divorce BS is really quite obnoxious. It plays with my emotions like whoa. And? I'm finding I'm pretty annoyed with those I see who are tra, la, la'ing along all in love. I pretty much want to play red rover when I see them holding hands. It's nothing against them, honestly. I'm just a little, tiny bit bitter.


Just when I thought I was in a good place, (wanting to play red rover is much better than where I was a few weeks ago, trust me.) the freakin' vet calls to check on Big Dog (you know, the dog he has) and make sure she's doing better. It's really awesome to have to fess up to some random vet tech that my marriage is over and that I really have no idea how my dog is doing. My dog. Our dog. His dog, now.


However, there are some ups. The dishes in the sink? Oh, that's right.. there aren't any. Because I put them in the dishwasher immediately. Everything is right where I put it. (This might backfire when I don't have anyone to blame for misplacing something, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.) And, the laundry has significanly decreased. Plus, I use waaaaaay less toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, soap, etc.


Cooking for one, though? A royal pain. I LOVE cooking. I love cooking for others. And I love sharing a meal with someone and talking about my day. Even though I didn't always enjoy my company, I had someone to cook for. Now? It's just me. Zoey (the dog) doesn't appreciate my cooking, as she's not allowed human food. I suppose it's hard to appreciate something you've never tasted and know you can't have. However, I have been able to enjoy cereal for dinner or a baked potato-- I don't think you can do that when you're married.

I promise, I'm really trying not to be bitter.

Best Put Down Ever

By far, one of my favorite put downs EVER...

"You're a stupid, fat, old lady who eats poop for breakfast!"

Let's analyze this.. stupid? Only because I keep returning to see your smiling face daily, but I really need the money. Fat? You got that right, buddy. I love me some chips. Old? Older than you, yes. Older than your mother? Yes. Older than dirt? Nope. Eats poop for breakfast? Nope, only for dinner.

And that my friends, is the joy of working with children. I know you're jealous you don't get compliments like that on a regular basis.

Edited to add: Google just recommended to me, "Yo Mama Jokes! Find the best mama jokes on the internet."

Really?

Dear Zoey,

I would love it if you could find a place to do your business. I mean, do you really need to wander around for 15 minutes in the rain to find the perfect place to relieve yourself? I mean really. It's raining. You hate the rain. I hate the rain. You're muddy. I'm muddy. Just go.

I get that you're still trying to get used to your new surroundings, so am I. But it's just unacceptable to be walking around in the rain, snow, wind, frigid temps, etc. for longer than 2 minutes.

Thank you for your understanding.

Love,
Your Mom

You What?

This is how my morning went yesterday...

I had a little one absent the day before. I assumed it was because he had a dr. appointment or he was sick. Well, when he came in I asked him why he was absent. He walked over to me a quietly whispered, 'I had to go to the hospital!'. Knowing that he has a flair for the dramatic, I asked for details. He then whispered, 'I had a paperclip stuck in my butt.' Not fully understanding, I asked for clarification. 'Was it in like the part you sit on or the part you poop from?'. Keep in mind, I'm dealing with a 7 year old...He replied, 'The part you poop from and the doctor had to look at it and try to get it out. It was really stuck and now it hurts to poop.'

Allow me to clarify. He had a paperclip up his butt. A paperclip. Up. His. Butt. I suppose you might be wondering why, as I clearly was. He said he put it up there because he couldn't poop.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

I have about a month's worth of stories from the front line. I'll try and remember as much as I can, but the recent events have caused me to pretty much forget everything. Seriously, I cannot for the life of me remember anything. This even pertains to really, really, really super important things like appointments, meetings, birthdays, bills, etc.

Li'l Man: Mrs. L, there's wawer on da counner. (translation: there's water on the counter)
Me: I see it, buddy. I'll wipe it up.
Li'l Man: No, it happ'n when someone wed da pants.
Me: Someone wet their pants? How did I miss this?! (turning to the class) Who wet their pants on the counter?
Li'l Man: No, no, no. It happ'n when somebody waddered da pwants.
Me: Ohhh.. when someone watered the plants? Gotcha.

Oops. That's right. Because it would totally not make any sense for someone to wet their pants on the counter. My bad.

Update

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Hopefully, you haven't forgotten about me. While I've been gone, I really missed all of you. I'm hoping now that things have settled down a bit, I will be a better blogger.

To update you all, approximately four weeks ago my husband and I made the difficult decision to separate with the intentions of getting a divorce. I have had my ups and downs during these past few weeks and continue to chug along in the process.

Just a warning for you all: I am one moody woman. My life is, essentially, an emotional roller coaster. One minute I'm happy as a lark. The next minute? BAM! I'm crying for what appears to be no apparent reason.

Please bear with me in this process.

Hiatus...

Hello Bloggy friends..

 

Due to some pretty sucky things going on right now, I'm taking a bit of a blogging hiatus. I will, however, still be reading all of my daily favorites and will attempt to leave a comment or two. Unfortunately, I don't have a whole lot of fun things to talk about, so I think it's best that I take a little breather. I promise to return soon!

 

 

Add that to my resume...

Today a little guy had a "piece of candy" stuck in his tooth. He couldn't get it out and continued whining about it, so I sent him to the nurse. She sent back a note saying it was hopelessly stuck, nothing she could do, and he wasn't interested in letting her really try.

After about an hour of feeling pretty miserable (he said it felt like someone was punching him in the face) we were able to convince him that he should try floss.

To make a long story short, we were able to pull it out. Turns out it wasn't candy.. it was a piece of plastic that was REALLY stuck. Like.. took a lot of work to get it out.

When I finished? Another little guy turns to me and says, "You should be a dentist!"

In addition to teaching, caring for children, solving problems, keeping children safe, teaching them to read, and write, and do math, and nurturing a positive learning environment all while dealing with their special emotional/behavioral needs. I'm also a dentist.

I bet YOU didn't have to stick your hands in a 7 year olds mouth to pull out a piece of hard plastic. I know you're jealous.

Life? It ain't fair...

We went on a field trip today to a corn maze. It was tons of fun. Unfortunately, not all of my friends could join us. Because I work in a special program for kids who are emotionally disturbed, they have to earn a ticket to go on the field trip. Basically, don't assault anyone, don't threaten anyone, and don't run away from school. They seem like pretty standard rules, I know.. but they are broken on an hourly basis.

When we returned from our field trip, one little guy who didn't make it turned to me and said, "You know what isn't fair?" Knowing full well this was going to be good, I said, "No, sweetie. What's not fair?" His reply? "You got to go on the field trip and you're not always safe. You climb on the counters-- that's not safe AND you didn't come to school yesterday-- that's REALLY not safe."

Apparently it's not safe for me to stay home from school when I have the flu. Who knew?

If only you would listen...

Dear Pups,

Remember how I told you not to go into the mud at the dog park and you chose not to listen? Yeah, that's why you had to get a bath tonight. I know how you feel about baths, and believe me, I don't always care to give you a bath (all the shaking is really a pain in my behind..) but I just can't have you running around the house with muddy paws. Especially you, Little Dog. You think your "Queen of the House" status is going to fly with muddy paws? Think again.

I promise you, I don't tell you to stay out of the mud because you're missing the world's greatest playground. In fact, the other dogs know well enough to stay out of it because they don't want baths, so it's not even like you were chasing other dogs in it and forgot the rules. No, no. You two were the only dogs playing in the mud like a bunch of pigs. Even when I shouted at you to come, you came like good little girls and then went right back into it.

I'm trying to make friends here and you keep ruining it for me because you just can't stay out of the mud. Do you think those other ladies want to be friends with the dirty dogs' mom? Nope. Do you think they are talking about us behind our backs once we leave? Yup.

How about tomorrow you just listen to me. I promise I'll make it worth your effort. Puppy ice cream, anyone?

Sincerely,
Your loving (and always right) Mommy

Say what?

Setting: Computer Lab

Characters: My circus of a class + one very stressed out teacher (yours truly)

Little Man: Mrs. L! Mrs. L!

Me: (disgusted, as this is the eighteenth time I've had to remind him we don't shout for our teacher, we raise our hand and sit quietly) Little Man, what's the rule?

Little Man: I know the rule, but.. but... ugh.. (raises his hand)

Me: (nice teacher voice) Yes, Little Man. Do you have a question?

Little Man: Mrs. L, where's the shit key?

Me: Say what?

Little Man: The shit key! They want me to press the shit key and then a.

Me: The shiFt key? That's the one with the arrow.

Little Man: Ohhhh... why do they call it the shit key?

Me: They don't. It's the shiFFFFFt key.

Little Man: That doesn't make any sense... I'm confused.

Me: (attempting not to laugh) When you press it, it shifts the lowercase a to an uppercase a.

Little Man: Ahhh... so it's not the naughty word key.

Me: No, no it's not.

Sorry...

Okay, I know I've been a little... uh...absent.

But I have good reasons, er, excuses. First off, I attended not one but two weddings this weekend. One in Pittsburgh on Friday and then one in DC on Saturday. So I drove over 500 miles in 24 hours and that left very little time to blog.

Oh! And? Hubby.. well, his computer crashed. And by crashed, I mean water spilled. All over it. We're not quite sure how it happened. It either involved a tipsy hubby who was a little overzealous with his water OR a puppy with a wicked tail wag. Either way, we're down a computer and neither of us knows how to share. *Yes, I realize I teach little ones, I teach them to share everyday, but I just.cannot.for.the.life.of.me share my computer.

Probably the biggest reason I've been absent? I've been reading The Pioneer Woman's Love Story: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. If you haven't heard of Pioneer Woman, you don't know what you're missing. Seriously. You'll be so obsessed with reading her love story. It's straight from the heart, eloquently written, and totally consumes your life. Thankfully I was lucky enough to be able to read start to finish. My online google chat best friend, Jessica, wasn't quite so lucky. She was stuck waiting ever so patiently for the next chapter, begging for more.

So.. go read. You'll thank me later. Seriously. (Mom-- this means you, too! Be careful, though, you might need tissues. And 12 hours to waste)

Lazy Little Dog...

Oh Little Zoey puppy, whatever shall we do with your lazy little self? You are always finding ways to show us the ultimate in lazy living. I mean, those pillows? They were put there while Daddy was folding clothes and you just had to lay there. (It should be known that she climbed OVER the pillows, dug around, turned in two circles and plopped herself down Right.There.)

This? This is what happens when you become lazy. Mommy thinks it's just too fun to dress you up. I'm sorry for dressing you up like little red riding hood, but I just couldn't resist. You're too cute and too willing to do whatever I ask you to do. Except get in the bathtub, of course. I mean, why on Earth would I want to make you clean? Sheesh.

Love,
Mommy

New Obsession...

Dear Nabisco,

Why must you do this to me? Don't you know I'm trying to save money AND my waistline? Unfortunately, with the amount of love I have for your dear Sun Dried Tomato & Basil, I consume approximately one box every two days.



That's a lot of money (and calories, but I care more about the money) that I could be using to, uh, pay my mortgage? I would love you even more if you actually had a coupon I could use OR went on sale at my local grocery store. Could you please do that for me? mmmkkkkkaaaaay?

Sincerely yours,
Mrs. L

I need YOUR help..

Okay, ladies (and gentlemen?)...

I'm thinking it's time for a change around here. I'm thinkin' a new blog title is a must. While I'll always love my mid mid-life crisis, I think I'm ready for a new name.

What are your thoughts on this?

You Can Say That Again...

Wow.. I must be really cool. I have comments daily from these readers. Since, obviously, I can totally understand what they say, I decided to translate for you.

See what they have to say about me..

"Wow, you're an absolutely brilliant writer. I wish I could be just like you. I have dreams of one day becoming an amazing blogger JUST.LIKE.YOU."

and...

" I'm so impressed with your teaching skills. No wonder you've nominated yourself for Teacher of The Year. If only my kids could be in your classroom. I know you'd teach them all about the finer things in life."

don't forget about this one..

"I want to be just like you. Your humor, your wit, and your enthusiasm for teaching just amazes me daily. If I could be half as brilliant as you, I'd be lucky. XOXOXO, your favorite reader."

Yeah, I'm pretty much a big deal. Not like you didn't already know that. Duh.

That wasn't right...

Our reading program has us sounding out words daily. The kids are really getting the hang of it. We're sounding out EVERYTHING we see. It's a primary teacher's dream, really.

Until you sound out h...u...m...p. I'm pretty sure in a normal primary classroom, it's not really a big deal. After all, a camel has a hump. A hump is a bump, right? Yeah, unfortunately I'm not in a "normal" classroom. Remember my kids? All emotionally disturbed and really "street smart". Sounding out hump isn't the best idea because in their worlds...

"Ooooh! Mrs. L, hump is what adults do!"

Oi vay.

Ugh..

I had to listen to bickering all day at school, only to come home to listen to the dogs fight. Of course, their fighting doesn't make me want to bust out laughing like the kids. I'm pretty sure they can't bark using curse words.

On a lighter note, I have the most charming (and naughty) little one in my class. Today she turned to a classmate who wasn't following directions and was, instead, ripping up classroom materials to say, "Hey, are you ready to join the group? We miss you and want to make sure you learn to read like we are." Seriously? What could be more adorable?

And? One kid turned to me and said, "Yo, Mrs. L. I'm glad you're not using your mean voice today. I didn't like it yesterday when all you did was talk in your mean voice." I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was the cause of the mean voice. For some reason, teachers don't like it when you curse and spit in their classroom for no.apparent.reason.

Phew!

I'm exhausted. I was reading some blogs and came across this via Mrs. Mindless. Which was pretty cool, a ruffled tee at a fraction of the price. Plus, it's DIY so I instantly loved it.

Fast forward to today. I get the brilliant idea to consult Mommy dearest who happens to be a master seamstress. I share the idea with her and she instantly says she can do it (and I actually believe her!) and was literally walking into Tar-jay to get the goods as we were hanging up.

Then, I came across a neat idea using ribbon and thread to make "flowers" and thought that might add some visual interest for the ruffles on the tee. I looked through my materials and Viola! I had all that I needed to make it- a plain white tee, black ribbon, black thread, and a needle.

What do you think ladies? I'm thinking maybe one or two more bunches, but every time I added them... well... they just didn't look right. And, when I put it on... any down below the bottom one will get pretty close to the shelf. The last thing I need is something to add to the shelf.

I Have What?

Little Man: Mrs. L! Your arm is all red! Are you dying?

Me: No, no of course not Little Man. I just had an itch.

Little Man: Oh. I bet you have fleas.

Me: Fleas?

Little Man: Yes, when my dog is itchy my mom says he just has fleas. Must be that's why you're itchy.

Me: Must be.

Do you think it was bad that I told a little one to ask his mom why d!ck was a bad word? I reeeeeeally hope he doesn't ask her because I can only imagine what the conversation will sound like.

Silly Puppy..

Big Dog insists that any insect that is flying around must.be.hers and she must eat it right.now.

Silly puppy, you can't do that when it lands on the t.v. because mommy and daddy don't want to see the television come crashing down over something as silly as a moth. When you do this, it causes daddy to jump up and grab you and shout to mommy to swat it down. (Silly daddy doesn't realize that I hate anything that has wings...)

Of course, once I swatted it away from the t.v., she proceeded to jump and eat it mid-air.

Silly puppy.

In case you were wondering, Little Dog was oblivious to the shenanigans going on and proceeded to wag her tail hoping someone would remember to come back and cuddle with her.

The One Where She Whines...

**WARNING: Whining to follow!**

I am annoyed with...

• being an adult and having responsibilities.
• students who repeatedly refuse to follow directions.
• having an IEP meeting tomorrow.
• having to tell a parent that their child is not doing well, despite what they may think about their "angel".
• deadlines, observations, professional development, and meetings.

However, I am loving...

• kids who insist on giving me hugs (even though I may not want them at the time..)
• kids who apologize for not following directions and sincerely mean it.
• Wednesday night television- hello ANTM, Modern Family, and Cougar Town. I heart you.
• my supportive family.
• a puppy who always wants to cuddle.

Thanks for letting me whine.

Wow..

I heart days off.

Today I accomplished SO much and I actually feel rejuvenated. I had a wonderful weekend with my mom and her best friend (girls weekend!) up in Pittsburgh, so I was really thinking I wouldn't get much done today. Boy was I wrong!

I found something that actually motivates me to clean! Books on tape. I LOVE to read, but reading often means that I'm pretty lazy because I want to finish the book. Instead, if it's being read to me, I have to find something else to do because I can't just sit and have it read to me. I cleaned the bathroom, kitchen, folded 4 loads of laundry, swept and mopped.

I also think I'm going to start having a evening schedule for each night. I'm SUCH a routine-oriented person, so instead of having the routine of coming home and cooking dinner and vegging out, I'm going to come home, walk the dogs, cook dinner, and then tidy one room of the house. That way I'm not stuck doing it on my day off or the weekends.

How do you ladies keep up on the housework? It's never-ending.. I swear.

He Knows Me Sooooo Well...

I have been hearing noises in the vents this evening. Of course I forgot to ask hubby about it before he left. So I called him.

Me: There are noises coming from the vent.

Hubby: Is it the air?

Me: Um... no... the air is coming out but noises are, too. Like weird noises. Like an animal or something.

Hubby: Go upstairs. The dogs are there, they will take care of it if it's an animal or something.

Two reasons this is a pretty normal conversation: 1) Never put it past me to not notice the obvious (in this case: the air) and 2) I don't like anything involving critters of any kind.

I'm really glad he thought the dogs would take care of it...

Workshop

Actual 7 year old writing project, which included stickers of a broomstick, ghost, and pumpkin.

The pumkin haz a scard fas.

(The pumpkin has a scared face.)

The gost sayz boo to skayr pepul but not me.

(The ghost says boo to scare people but not me.)

A wich flis on her broom wif nitrus.

(A witch flies on her broom with nitrous.)

Mrs. L flis on her broom wif owt nitrus.

(Mrs. L flies on her broom without nitrous.

I, of course, had to ask what nitrous is. Apparently it's NOS, the stuff you put in cars to make them go really fast. Because doesn't every broomstick have NOS? Of course.

Another group of kids was "reading" together. One turns to the other and says.. "Dude! You stink!" the (stinky one) turns and says, "Don't you know.. you smelled it, you dealt it! That means YOU stink!" and a fit of laughter erupted.

No wonder I have issues dealing with "bathroom humor", I hear it all day long. Bathroom humor is the only humor first graders have.

I was also asked what a pimp hand is. And, in our science lesson we were using our observation skills to figure out what objects were in the mystery containers. I had to write, "two tiny balls" and "big balls" on the overhead. I also may have repeated a child when he said fart. I then said fart two times after that. It's a wonder I get anything done in my classroom. I feel like all I talked about today was tooting and balls of all shapes and sizes.

Me immature? Yup.

I may have also had a kid eat a marker AND crayon today. I love my job.

Making Words...

Working with little ones is always an adventure. If you're a long time reader, you know this is certainly the case in my classroom.

 

Today we were working with the letter Nn. When asked to come up with their own words that began with the nnnnnn sound, I had some pretty interesting ones. Here are the winners and their definitions.

• nobble- you know, a long book with chapters and lots of pages.
• neener- someone who is acting mean.
• nada- as in nada chance.
• nookie- what my mom and dad do.

Sounding out words is fun, too! We were sounding out the word t-i-p. As we sounded it out, one kid was a little behind and sounded it out ttttttt....iiiiiiiii......tttttttt. I almost peed myself.

Warm Apple Pie

Dearest Starbucks,

I simply adore your Caramel Apple Spice. As in, I cannot get enough. If you could please go ahead and have this ready for me every morning, I would appreciate it. Seriously. Any drink that tastes like warm apple pie deserves to be mine every.single.morning.

Thank you.

Books?

I am in need of a new book. Any suggestions?

no subject

Sorry for the lameness of the title, but I just don't have anything witty.

You know you're a teacher when... you get excited for professional development days because it means you have more than 25 minutes to eat, can eat without working, AND you get to go out for lunch.

Yup. I had breakfast for lunch today. At a diner. With another adult. And did zero work. On a school day.

That's pretty awesome.

Beautiful?

Today during work time, the kids were working hard so I walked over to check my email quickly. As I was walking back, I heard one kid tell another, "Shut up you b@stard!". Not knowing the circumstances, I immediately sent him back to his seat and moved his clip (behavior management tool in our school). When I went to talk it over with him, I asked him why he would call a friend that and reminded him that we only use velvet words in our classroom and the word he said was not a velvet word.

His response? "He told me you weren't the most beautiful-est teacher in the world. So I told him he was a b@stard."

Do you know how hard it is to discipline a child when you're laughing so hard you're crying?

He was really ready to throw down because his classmate didn't think I was the most beautiful-est teacher in the world.

Glad to know he thinks I'm beautiful.

Domestic Diva?

Mmmm.. nothing like the smell of homemade pita pockets, homemade hummus, and cheesy broccoli and rice soup.

I'm pretty sure that automatically means I'm a domestic diva.

Plus, I rocked the KitchenAid Mixer. Seriously, is there anything better than that mixer? The only thing I need is the splash guard/pour spout. Then I think it would be perfect.

Sigh..

We are working so hard in my class to become "super readers" and every opportunity we get, we are reading something or attempting to read something. When we're not reading, we're sounding out words. This transfers over to our writing.

One little boy was writing the word sit. As he was sounding it out, he did ssssss hhhhhhh iiiiiiii ttttt and proceeded to write "shit".

That was a bright spot in my otherwise awful day.

Going to bed early, hoping to sleep off the funk.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Being away from my kids for a few days this week made me forget just how hilarious 7 year olds can be.

Today during our read-aloud, the kids were all sitting nicely (that doesn't happen often, you know...) on the carpet. One little guy leans over and lets one rip. Knowing that 7 year olds are so very immature, I ignored it and kept teaching. I then see one student after another covering their noses. Then it hits me. The smell. The horrible, rotten, disturbing smell of a child who has.. ahem.. let out a little gas.

Stifling my laughter (because really, toots are that funny), I quietly ask the student if, perhaps, he would like to go to the bathroom.

Me: "Do you think you need to go to the bathroom?"

Student: "Huh?"

Me: "Do you think you need to go potty?"

Little Miss Drama Queen: "Too late, I think he already did..."

I could not contain my laughter at this point. I had to raise the book to my face to cover the huge grin on my face.

And, later on in the day my exasperation had finally caught up to me when I said to a student, "Come on, dude... really?" His response? "You don't like it when I call you dude, so why did you call me dude?" Touche my friend, touche. No more dude. At least to your face.

We love books...

Today I introduced our Social Studies books to the kids. Because they are now 1st and 2nd graders, we are using individual text books instead of a big book for the whole group.

 

Forgetting that this was their first encounter with text books, I passed out the books and asked the kids to turn to the page we would be reading. I instantly had four hands waving wildly in the air. Confused, I called on a kid to see what was up. He shyly asks me, "Can we look at these books first? They are SO cool!". I also had one kid ask if he could keep his book because it was filled with fun stuff. Of course my whole social studies lesson flew out the window and I let the kids do a book browse. Turns out, that was way more informative than anything I could have taught them.

 

At the end of the day, a little came over to me and said, "Mrs. L... I love books just like I love you."

 

Even though they are naughty, I love them just like I love books.

Open Mouth... Insert Foot..

Actual conversation with a Police Officer in a gas station...

Setting: Gas station...

In walks girl. As she enters, she notices two gentlemen watching her. One a police officer, one the clerk for the gas station.

Girl: (startled) Oh! I suddenly feel like I did something wrong... Like I was naughty!

Guys: hysterics...

Girl: Um.. that didn't come out right.

Police officer: I'm sure it didn't.

Tell me how you really feel...

Background: Monday and Tuesday I rocked the glasses instead of contacts. My eyes were screaming for a break, so I gave in and picked out outfits accordingly. (Yes, I have certain outfits that are okay for glasses and others that are contacts only.. I'm strange, I realize this)

Today when I was lining the kids up...

Little Man: "Mrs. L, where are your glasses? Can you even see us?"

Me: (chuckling..) "Oh, I decided to wear my contacts today. Yes, I can see you because
contacts are like glasses that are in your eyes."

Little Man: "Wow! It's like having a new, prettier teacher!"

Me: "Aw, thanks. Wait.. I'm prettier without my glasses? Bummer..."

Kids really do tell it like it is.

Touche my friend, Touche.

I learned an important lesson today...

Lil' Miss Drama Queen (LMDQ) was pitching a fit about not having her tennis shoes for PE (in the eyes of a 7 year old, this is huge.. that means sitting out during PE... I would think of it as blessing because then I wouldn't have to run or break a sweat but whatev).

As she's in hysterics, I calmly approached her and said, "LMDQ, how do you think we can solve this problem? Let's think for a minute.. take a deep breath and try to solve the problem together."

She looks me straight in the eye (and stops crying for a moment) to say, "Mrs. L, if I knew how to solve the problem, I wouldn't be crying!" and proceeds to cry again.

Touche, my friend.. touche.

FYI- we did solve the problem. Daddy brought her shoes. I thought of that one all by myself, thankyouverymuch.

First Day Follies...

Today we had a pretty high up VIP in the school district come to visit our school and wish us and the kids a happy first day (and I'm sure get a nice photo-op in..). This VIP stopped by a few classrooms and one of them happened to be mine.

As the big-wig was talking to me and greeting the kids, a camera person happened to trickle in. Cutie Pie girly in my room locked eyes with the camera, screamed, and hid under the table. I began to panic! Crud! This isn't supposed to happen!

Thankfully, the VIP had a pretty good sense of humor about it all and turned to me and said, "I suppose that's my cue to leave..."

During a rather enjoyable moment, one of my students turned to me and said, "You know what Mrs. L? I lied to you earlier." Intriqued, I asked Little Miss Honest what she lied about. "I told you I missed you this summer. I didn't think about you once." I thanked her for telling the truth, expressing that honesty is the best policy, while thinking to myself... you know what.. I didn't really miss you either. I kept that lie to myself.

Back to School..

Tomorrow is our first day with kiddos!

Not going to lie.... I'm pretty excited. Two reasons: 1) I have the cutest outfit for tomorrow and 2) my kids are always so entertaining.

That means you, my friends, will have more exciting things to read about on the blog.

For those of you going back to school tomorrow-- best of luck! Enjoy your week!

Hodge Podge...

My apologies in advance for this hodge podge of a post.

First off, thanks for letting me vent yesterday. I went to bed early and I am feeling much better.

Today was a good day. I didn't get much done in my room, but my assistant did and I feel like I might actually get to take Friday off. (We're supposed to be off, but the school is open.. so for the past three years I've gone in!)

Little Dog rolled around in something with a strong funky smell. I'm thinking an animal or something. Whatever it was, it was rotten. So I had to give her a bath. Little Dog is known for being a bit of a... well... how do I put this nicely? A princess? (exhibit a- refuses to go into wet grass and will pee on the cement, exhibit b- when camping, she lays in chairs instead of on the ground, exhibit c- she is always looking for attention) So giving her a bath is always an adventure. In her bath tonight? She climbed out of the tub while I was trying to get her wet and proceeded to get me SOAKED. She is now running around (wet) in the dogs room trying to dry off.

In my infinite wisdom, I then decided to give Big Dog a bath so I would have two clean dogs. I now look like I just got out of the shower because she shook all over me as soon as I let her out of the tub.

Hmm...

Feeling like I want a little anonymity... but I don't know how to get it. I started this blog as a place to share my life, get advice, and vent. At first I was frustrated because I didn't have any readers (that I knew of, at least..) and so I shared my blog address with family and friends. While I adore that my family and friends from so far away can share my life with me, sometimes a girl needs a place to escape...

What to do, what to do?

Yuck

I cannot stand people who chew with their mouth open. Seriously? I do not want to see your chewed up food.

Adventures in the Outdoors..

My friend Jennie and I took her kids down to a river to take them swimming. We had a blast watching the kids run in and out of the water, enjoying the freedom of being outdoors and playing in the water.



However, there are a few things I realized about spending an afternoon with kids... sometimes there are minor "inconveniences" and you have to think on your feet to help them out. Thankfully Jennie and I both grew up in the country, so we were able to help them out.



First incident? Kid A has to pee and turns to Jennie and says, "Where's the bathroom?" Her response? "All around. Pick a spot. Make sure you watch where you're peeing." He looks at her like she has five heads. But, he did it.



Next incident? Kid B shouts, "Mommy! I have to go pooooooop!" Jennie and I had to make a game time decision. We told him to plop a squat. He, also, looked at us like we had five heads. The squatting wasn't too bad, but when he asked how he was going to wipe? Jennie handed him a leaf. It was quite hilarious.

Not so hilarious? He pooped in his pants a little bit later and shouts to us, "Mommy! I pooped in my pants.. what do I do?" Mom's great idea? Take them off and get in the river. That was a great idea, until he swims out to us and says "Oh! It fell out of my bathing suit." We assumed it was floating upstream, right? Fast forward about five minutes and I feel something squishing under my heel. Yes, I stepped in poo.


Darn kids.

Fishing

Fishing..again. A little more appropriately dressed this time. No bow on my shirt, but still rockin' the flip flops.

Love Story, Part 2.

On Wednesday, two days after I met bouncer boy, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. Normally I do not answer when I don't know who it is, but I was in the middle of preparing for "The Bachelor" with a friend of mine and didn't pay any attention to what was going on.

"Hi.. it's Bouncer Boy. From the bar? I wondered if you wanted to hang out tonight. I know it's late notice, but I thought I'd see if you were free."

Unfortunately, I had a prior commitment-- Hello? "The Bachelor"? I had to decline, but informed him I would be going out to another bar the next night to celebrate a 21st birthday, so if he wanted to go up there, I would love to see him and if he wasn't able to make it, maybe we could meet up this weekend.

I was pretty certain he wouldn't show up the next night, as that was totally my luck with guys. As I was walking in, after waiting in line for a while in the rain, I saw him turn and wave. I'm pretty sure he may have taken my breath away because a) there was not an empty table in sight and b) I didn't recognize anyone at the bar. Immediately relieved, I played it cool and walked over to say hello. He quietly said, "Where are your friends?" Panicked, I said.. "I'm not sure where they are celebrating.. I hope they didn't leave without telling me!" He immediately reassured me that there was an upstairs and it was very likely that was where they were hanging out, as the basement was more of a lounge, not the bar.

He asked me what I was drinking, grabbed me a drink, and invited me to sit down. I politely declined, saying I wanted to find my friends first. As soon as I got upstairs, I found my friends and saw they were all paying and getting ready to leave. I was a little disappointed, as I just got there, but decided I would politely decline their invite to walk to the next bar because I had to work early the next morning (and I was secretly excited about the boy downstairs... and I'll be honest.. I didn't want to walk in the rain!).

As I headed downstairs, I saw bouncer boy smiling and chatting with his friends. I walked up and told him my friends were leaving. Looking a little disappointed, he asked me if that meant I was leaving, too? I told him about working early and said I would probably only be good for one more drink before heading home, so it really wasn't worth walking to the next bar. Thankfully, one of my friends was going to stay with me and the boys because she, too, had to get up early.

That night, during conversation, he put his hand on my leg. I immediately remember thinking, "How forward of him! But... I kind of like it. In fact, I don't mind it at all..."

A little while later, I looked at my phone and noticed it was after midnight. I informed bouncer boy and his friends that I was going to head out. Bouncer boy offered to walk me out to my car and on the way, he told me his plans for the weekend and hoped that he could see me soon.

To Be Continued...

Happy Birthday!

Dear Auntie Sara,

We wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Since we can't talk very well.. we thought you might enjoy our pictures. Mommy made us dress up in these ridiculous hats, but we love you.. so we obliged.

Love,
Little ZoBo & Leila Beila

Our Love Story... Part 1

In an effort to come up with something to write about.. I thought I'd share with you my love story with Hubby.

My (first) senior year, I moved in with some girls from my program. We had tons of fun together. That happened to be the same year I turned 21. One of my other roommates had a birthday a few days before mine, so she had the luxury of trying a few of the bars before I could. On the Monday after my birthday, she wanted to celebrate "college style"-- you know, grab a drink on gasp! a weeknight. For students in the education program, this truly was out of character for us, as we either had class early in the AM or we had a pre-internship and had to hang out with little ones at the ungodly hour of 8AM. During this particular week, though, schools were going to be holding conferences, so the pre-interns weren't required to go to teach.

We headed to a local bar that was the home of Monday night specials. And, as poor college students.. this was important to us. It also happened to be one of the few places in my college town you could snag a Blue Moon. When we walked in, to my surprise, the roommate happened to know the bouncers as they were roommates with her brother. Because it was a quiet night in the bar, the bouncers came over to catch up with the roommate while we enjoyed our Blue Moons (with orange, of course).

As the boys headed back to work, I joked to roommate that the taller one (hubby, natch) was pretty cute. Knowing me, she joked, "Cute enough for you?!" I agreed. He was cute enough for me.

She headed off to the bathroom and I began talking to some other people. She came back and said to me, "Hey.. what would you think if he asked me for your phone number?" Surprised, I said, "I'd be okay with it."

A few beers later.. and some flirting with the bouncers (of course).. we decided to head out. The beer began talking and I told the bouncer, "You better call me. I don't just give my number to anyone." and walked off.

...To Be Continued....

Overheard..

Conversation tidbits I heard today...

"I'm not wearing a bra, so be careful!" Um.. be careful of what? Flying boobs?

"I think I might be bipolar. I mean sometimes I'm super happy then I'm super mad." I'm pretty sure people who are bipolar don't recognize it.

Question..

Okay.. I know there are a bunch of readers out there who are teachers. I'm looking for some advice on literacy centers and morning message/meeting ideas. I'm trying to re-vamp some things for this year and I KNEW you all would be able to help!

HELP!

Golf..

I am beginning to really have a love affair with golf. I have gone twice this summer with Daddy-O and we have such a good time. Even if I'm not that good.

One reason I'm falling in love with it? Hello? The dress code! Where else can you play a sport, burn some cals (walking, swinging the club..), get some sun, AND rock khaki's and a polo? And be super prep-tastic while doing it? Plus.. I'm pretty sure everyone plays better with a popped collar. Of course I didn't realize that until we finished up.

I do wish, however, that there were re-do's in golf. I think if I play with Mommy, that'd be okay. Daddy isn't quite as forgiving. Bummer.

Ewww

I simply cannot stand public restrooms. They disgust me on so many levels.

Today at the movies confirmed for me just how gross they are. First? The noises and grunts coming out of the stall nwxt to me. Next? The woman who did not wash her hands after using the restroom. And the kicker? The feces on the stall wall.

Needless to say, I will be bleaching my entire body when I get home.

Seriously? Poop.on.the.wall.

Call me Crazy..

Is it horrible that I'm excited for school to start? I know, I know.. in a few weeks I'll be begging for summer.

Here's what I'm excited about..

• setting up my classroom
• putting up new bulletin boards
• creating all my folders
• new school supplies
• organizing the classroom
• the first day of school
• seeing all my kiddos from last year
• seeing how much said kiddos have grown
• diving head first into reading!
• implementing all the fun things I've been reading about this summer

Yup, I.am.crazy.

Any other teachers out there who get excited for the first day of school?

Fishing 101..

When fishing, it is completely appropriate to...

• wear linen pants
• wear a shirt with a bow
• sport flip flops
• make a 7 year old bait your hook

Check.check.check. and check.

In my defense, I didn't know I was going fishing or I would have changed the pants, shirt, and shoes.

Michigan love

Back in Hometown, Michigan this weekend. Coming home always reminds me how my life in Maryland is so different. Take, for example, Thursday night's dinner... big bro couldn't join because he had to feed the cows. We definitely woke up to a combine and straw bailer right behind our house. (Don't worry... I snapped pics) Last night? We drove "into town" to see where the bank had been hit by a truck. Today? We went antiquing in town and saw my old high school science teacher and a friend from high school's parents.

Good thing I look good today.. we're going to the vineyards for some wine tasting.

Summer TV

Dear Summer Television,

You are horrible. Why, oh why, must you be so horrible? I have such high hopes for you when I turn on the t.v. Yet day after day and night after night, you continue to let me down.

Sigh.

I think you stink.

Sincerely yours,
My Mid Midlife Crisis

Grrrrrr...

My stupid washing machine is leaking AND I almost ruined a load of laundry because the bleach didn't dispense in the previous load.

AND

I want to get new dishes because the bowls don't fit very well in my dishwasher and it annoys me every.time.I.load.the.effing.dishwasher.

On a brighter note.. I've completed Day 2 of "Operation Tidy House".. which is at least one load of laundry a day and NO dishes in the sink/counter/table/etc. Only in the dishwasher.

Don't you dare judge me for not doing this previously. I'm turning a new leaf here.

Tweet...tweet?

I just joined twitter.

I have no idea what I'm doing. Follow me. I feel like a moron.

Click to follow.

Lazy..

It's almost 5:00 pm and I'm just now taking a shower. Yes, my first shower of the day.

I did, however, brush my teeth this morning. At least I have something going for me.

Movie...

We totally scored tonight on the movie front.

Somehow our local cinema showed a sneak preview of "The Ugly Truth" with Katherine Hiegel and Gerard Butler.

We (hubby and I) LOVED it. I'm not sure the last time we went to a movie that we both came out thinking, I could see this again or I could buy it.

When it opens next weekend, YOU MUST SEE IT!

Head, shoulder, knees, and toes

You know you're a teacher when you have "head, shoulder, knees, and toes" stuck in your head because you sang it approximately 9,872,916 times today. Complete with the motions.

You jealous?

Parrots and Summer School

As you probably know, we have two pets.. Leila (Big Dog), the black lab.. and Zoey (Little Dog) the mutt.

After these last two weeks of summer school, I now know what it feels like living with a parrot. I have a little one who says everything I say, just like I say it. Even if I whisper something to my assistant, super hearing boy can hear it and restates it just like I said it.

Yes, the little guy has some special needs... but give me a break, dude.. let me say "I'm running to the bathroom" without repeating it.

Sure.. there are times when it's cute. Even funny. You know, when he says things from movies and such. Or even when I'm laughing and he mimics me. Cute. Not - so - much when I'm telling a student to wipe their bottom (yes, I have to tell kids how to go to the bathroom.. do you pity me, yet?) or asking a student to complete a task. But, I hit my wall today when he repeated my bathroom statement and when I said to him, as he was hitting me mercilessly, "No hit teacher! No hit teacher!" I thought maybe he understood when I said that and he repeated it. Turns out he didn't, he was just repeating what I said.

And yes, I do say things like "No hit. No hit teacher." These kids need very explicit instructions, so grammar tends to go out the window.

It's dark..

We lost power about an hour and a half ago.. and it just came back on.

Hubby and I had to figure out how to entertain ourselves. We figured an ice cream run was the best way.

Seriously, how did people ever survive without power? I mean.. no internet? no tv? no radio? no microwave? Thank goodness we no longer have to worry about a well because, well.. that would mean you have to be conservative on the bathroom trips, and who am I kidding? The glass, er two, at dinner? They would go right through me.. I'd be a peeing banshee!

Wait, was that too much information? Oops. My bad.

Love, Love, Love..

Why hasn't anyone told me about the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser?

It might be my new obsession.

Seriously, this thing cleans anything with very little effort. I keep walking around trying to find things to clean just to see if it will work. And it does.every.single.time.

Sigh.. I'm in love with a cleaning product. Please help me.

Human or dog?

Little dog thinks she's human... as in, thinks she should be on the furniture, held like a toddler, and sits in regular chairs like it's her j-o-b.

At the vet with her and they simply can't get enough of her... even after she peed on a chair, on the floor and on the technicians shoe. Oh yeah, said tech had to suck up the pee from the floor with a syringe in case they couldn't get more pee.

And they still love her.

Who am I kidding? We do, too.

Drumroll, please....

And the winner is.......



#17-- Kate... from Nautical by Nature


I went from this nice little excel spreadsheet...

to Random.org and put in my parameter... and out popped #17..

Congrats to Kate! Stay tuned, something else might be in the works.

Tori

This just in...

I have a crush on Tori Spelling. Just finished her book, "sTori Telling" and I've watched like 10 episodes of "Home Sweet Hollywood" and I just love her.

Can't.get.enough.

Thank goodness for DVR.

Oh Summer School...

Summer school is always good for a chuckle, or two.

An actual conversation I had with a 7 year old today...

Student: (shouting)"Hey, you! HEY! I said hey, you!"
Me: "Um.. I know you can't be talking to me.. that's not a polite way to get my attention. Can you think of a nicer way?"
Student: (in hushed voice) "Hey, you!"
Me: (rolling my eyes..) "Maybe you could say excuse me?"
Student: "But I didn't fart."

Later on in the morning...

Student: "Yo mama's fat and so are you!"
Thanks, dude.. I needed that reassurance.

And a kid threw up on his sock, so I casually say to him.. "Hey, buddy.. let's take that sock off, ok? You don't want to walk around with throw up on them". To which he replied, "No. I like the throw up. It's red. Red is my favorite color. Now I have on red socks."

And no, I could not convince him to take the sock off.

Last Chance...

It's your last chance to enter the giveaway! So far only 10 people have entered.. that means your chances are really high for winning!

Winner will be announced tomorrow!

Giveaway!

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

Monster or puppy?

See this face?

Looks can be deceiving... I've created a monster!

In an attempt to wear the pups out, I purchased a few outdoor toys to run them wild with. Big Dog now thinks it's my duty to take her outside and play whenever she gets the feeling to play! Um.. hello? I have some reality t.v. to watch Big Dog.

Seriously.. every 10 minutes I get a barking mad dog who thinks it's time to play outside.

Good thing she's cute.

Help? Please?

A girl has needs, you know.

Here's what I'm looking for.. monogrammed flip flops and a monogrammed agenda (preferably an academic year, as I'm a teacher).

Where can I get these?

ETA: I'd like to get something that is classy and I'd prefer to do it through someone you all know and love.

Seriously?

Sitting at the motor vehicle association (for the third time) and it's been 40 minutes since they called anywhere near my number. And... there are seriously 4 people working with over 100 people waiting.

I might as well get comfortable.

You have what?

New neighbors moved into the neighborhood....

Said neighbor drives a noisy truck (annoying, I know) with a replica of a male body part hanging off the back. The worst part? They are saggy.

WTF? What kind of person has saggy b @ ll $ hanging on the back of their truck?

Annoying, no? Me thinks so.

Wait.. What?

I went to see "My Sister's Keeper" today and didn't shed a single tear. EVERY other audience member was sobbing.

Is something wrong with me?

Blog-a-versary GIVEAWAY!

I'm celebrating my ONE YEAR BLOG-A-VERSARY, so that means...

it's time for a GIVEAWAY!!

I'll be giving away the makings for a summer night to remember with someone special! Wine goblets, beautiful bbq plates and matching napkins, and a photo album to document the special summer night! I'll also be tossing in another sneaky little surprise for the lucky winner!

Here's the deal...

1. Leave a comment for one chance to win.
2. Become a follower for another chance to win. (be sure and let me know in your comment if you are a follower or if you become one!)
3. Send a friend my way and I'll put you down for one more chance to win!

That's right, 3 chances to win!

**Enter before July 6th at 12 midnight**

Winner will be announced July 7th!

New Vocabulary

I know, I know... I'm totally the person you turn to when you want to be hip with the lingo.

Well, I have a new term for you:
Bipolar driver - a driver who simply cannot travel at a consistent speed and often can be found speeding or traveling below the approved speed limit. These drivers may force other drivers (who are, of course, driving on cruise control) to shout explitives or other equally demeaning words at them. At which point the bipolar driver will continue on with their happy little shenanigans until an opening becomes available and other drivers are able to pass them.

Who knew driving could be so much fun?

Oh, I should also mention these drivers love to do this on two lane highways with heavy truck traffic, thus making it virtually impossible to pass them.

Sigh...

Only in Michigan...

Definitely just heard about RV racing not far from my hometown in Michigan. It's drag racing for RV's. Couldn't be anymore klassy with a capital K....

Bad Luck..

They say bad luck travels in 3's...

I'd have to agree after my luck today. Went out on the jet ski, it stopped working. Got the trailer stuck while pulling the jet ski out of the lake. Then blew the tire on the golf cart. Awesome.

Thank goodness I was with some pretty fun people who all have a great sense of humor or it could have gotten tricky.

Annnnnnd.. I escaped a major sun burn. I guess the day wasn't a total loss.

Blog-a-versary!

My one year blog-a-versary is coming up on the 29th of June.

You may want to tune in for a give away...

You know, because I'm not cool enough to have 50 followers, so I'll let the rest of the readers benefit from my blog-a-versary! After all, life doesn't always have to be about me.

ETA: Blogger doesn't recognize the word blog-a-versary. Whatev.

Updates..

Sorry for leaving you all hanging.. but I've been in Michigan visiting with the family and the internet has not been working.

I'll admit.. it was kind of liberating to not be able to jump on the internet (or my phone-- cell service stinks in the middle of nowhere) whenever I wanted. It was freeing, almost.

On the flip side of that, I totally missed all of you! I'm STILL catching up on your lives and trying to comment. I missed hearing about your lives- it sounds crazy, I know- but I feel connected to so many of you. I found myself talking about some of you to family and friends and referring to you as "my friends". Even though we're bloggy friends, I really appreciate you!

In case you wondered what I've been up to.. go here. Yes, that's me in a bee suit. I'm the blonde on the left. I also spent 3 hours in a car with my parents. That's always an adventure. It's even more of an adventure when dad puts the gps on Spanish so I can "work on my Spanish while driving", mom gets confused with the time zones, and I'm generally a wreck when others are driving in busy traffic. Needless to say, there were plenty of laughs. And no panic attacks. Phew.

Yesterday, I spent time with my in real life best friends from high school/college. I love those girls. I wish they lived closer. There's just something about having girlfriends...

Prep 101

The ultimate in preppy? Golfing with your dad for father's day!

Weird...

I am at a shoe store and the people behind me are clucking like chickens at each other. They are like talking to each other, but clucking. Weird.

True Love

I know I married my soul mate. Allow me to explain...

My mother and I have this wonderful attitude about shopping- basically, if we can justify it.. we needed it. We also have a theory about parking spots- if you park close, you're meant to get a lot of things because you don't have to carry it as far. However, if you park far away, you're meant to get a lot of things because you had to park far away & it just isn't fair.

Hubby hasn't always agreed with this philosophy. However, he finally saw the light.

Yesterday, puppies stepped in poo and tracked it in the house and onto our sheets and bedspread. One might think, "Ugh. I'll just bleach it and all will be well." Well.. I had a hard time thinking that. I could only think about sleeping in poo stained sheets and I knew it wouldn't be good. So, I bit the bullet and went to Home Goods to grab some new sheets (to replace the others I would be throwing away, of course) and a new bedspread- both bright white so I can bleach them if the dogs get dirt or something spills. I was a little worried about what hubby would say.

Fear not! He totally agreed with me and even stated he would never sleep on sheets that had poo on them at one time.

I love that man. For more reasons than justifying a shopping spree, of course. But that was the icing on the cake. AND he let me change my flight to go home a day earlier. I think he likes me!

Annoyed, slightly.

As you may recall, our trash can recently went missing. We're not sure how.. but we have our guesses.

Anyway, as I was driving through the neighborhood.. I had to check out every one's garbage cans. The neighbor that drives me nuts (read: I want to run him over every time I see him or his kids...) has two trash bins that look like ours. I'm slightly suspicious.

On another note, the annoying neighbor added another notch to his annoying-ness belt.. his son and his friends skateboard in the freakin' road. And to make matters worse, they don't care to move out of any one's way. Let's see here, dude... little kid or car? Who is going to win that battle?

Seriously, who plays chicken with cars?

Ugh. The case of the missing trash can continues. Until I find it, I'm totally blaming the annoying neighbor because he has two trash cans just.like.mine.

While we're on the subject of neighbors, one of the neighbors recently was trying to get the gutter cleaners' attention. They were of Hispanic decent. He says to one of the guys very slowly, "Excuse.... me..... do...... you..... speak.... Ingles?" The gutter-dude's response? In very clear English, "Yes. Why?" I chuckled under my breath and walked away.

Nice.

Don't worry, S & C-- you're clearly not the suspects OR the gutter mishap.

Bathroom Tour

Here I am tearing up the horrible flooring. You can't see it very well, but the top layer was peel and stick tile. The bottom two layers were the same puke green vinyl and yellow color.

Now I'm posing with the toilet in the bathtub. It was the only way to make it all work!

Here's a picture I framed using scrapbook paper and a matting from Michael's hung with brown and teal ribbon.

Now we're on to the good stuff! I forgot to take a before picture, so you'll have to pretend the P monogram is not there! And.. I promise my hangings are not crooked.. it was a little difficult taking the pictures in the small bathroom!

Look how they turned out! I wanted something masculine for hubby and feminine for me. The L is the same font we used for our wedding favors!
*Again, not crooked.. just the way I had to take the pictures.

The towels are mis-matched right now because I'm doing a load of towels as we speak-- don't judge!

Big Dog was *helping* me take pictures. She LOVES the bathtub (sans water, of course) and was playing around while I was taking pictures.

All in all, I think the bathroom remodel turned out well. I'm very happy with the vinyl letters-- I think they add just a hint of sophistication, while creating a personalized bathroom. Plus, they were super-easy to hang!

New favorite

Just found my new favorite beer....
Leinenkugel summer shady. It's a beer with lemonade flavor. Might change from a glass of wine a night to a beer a night. I'm sure that's just as klassy.

Randomness...

We just got back from a mini-vacation and noticed our garbage can is gone. Neither of us remember bringing it from the curb this week and it's nowhere to be found. Who steals a garbage can? Weird.

My summer vacation has started and I'm secretly so excited to make my to-do lists and check items off. I cannot wait to make my daily lists. It makes me feel like I actually have accomplished something other than sitting on my butt all day. I LOVE checking items off.

First item on the list? The monograms! I will be taking pictures of the before/after of the bathroom and I'll post them tomorrow. Lack of work=lack of blogging topics, so I can't possibly waste the topic today!

Just picked the dogs up from the kennel and I can't help but wonder why they are so stinking thirsty. Do they not give them water at the kennel? BOTH dogs have gone and gotten like fifteen drinks in the last 5 minutes.

Giveaway!

Head on over to see what LuLu is giving away!

Vera Bradley? Note cards? Cupcake and kitchen goodies? This sounds like me!

Tell her I sent you! :)

Chiropractor

Thanks to Kristi, I headed to the chiropractor today for the headache problem.

Prior to my appointment, I spent a good four hours worrying about whether or not the doctor would paralyze me. Honestly. I had to google "paralyzed by chiropractor" to be certain.

After he adjusted my neck and back, I feel awesome. I feel like a million bucks now. And the best part? My homework is to relax my beck by laying down with a rolled up towel supporting my neck. I'm thinking it's a totally good excuse to be extremely lazy. "Sorry, hubby.. I can't do the dishes, the doctor said I had to relax!"

No more headache AND school is out.. what a wonderful day!

Headache Help...

Okay, Ladies..

I'm looking for some help here. I've been having some pretty bad migraines and headaches lately. What can I do (besides prescription-strength meds because clearly, I have no access to a doc at 7:00 pm) to make these go away? We're talking wake up with a headache, go to bed with a headache. Regular 'ol asprin just isn't doing the trick.

What do you all do to help these?

On an unrelated note, I think Big Dog has finally wised up to our tricks. First of all, we've always used baby gates to keep her on whatever floor we're on (she's a naughty, naughty devil...) and to keep her out of trouble. We've never had to lock the gates, just had to lean them up and she's left it alone. Well, enter the teen years.. and now she's realized she can knock them over.

As if that wasn't bad enough, she's also decided that NOTHING will get her inside. I used to ask her if she was hungry and she'd go flying in. Or I'd even pull out the, "Where's daddy?" and she'll go running. On occasion, I'd even get away with, "Who's here? What was that?" and in she goes. Now? Nothing. I have to literally chase her inside. We used to do treats and I'm thinking we're going to have to go back to that to train her again. Then, we'll wean off the treats.

We're a little buggy..

Little Dog just got backed into a corner by a moth that was flapping around. Big Dog took note of my attempt to record it (she's such a camera hog, that dog.. anytime I whip out the camera, she has to get all up in my grill!) and decided to see what all the fun was. For a moment, she had to sniff it out. You know, figure out what it was.

Then.. BAM! She ate it.

Little Dog began whining. Um.. hello? The darn moth just backed you in a corner and you were scared of it and your sister comes to your defense and you begin whining?

I don't know about that Little Dog sometimes.

Followers?

Alright ladies (and gentlemen? any of you men out there?)...

I'm planning a sweet giveaway, but I'll only do it if I get 50 followers. I have 39 right now.. so I only need 11 more. I know people are reading... but ya'll don't comment! I know I'm guilty of not commenting because I read at work, but I'm trying to be better about it AND school is almost out so I'll be reading at home with the ability to comment.

So.. the ball is in your court... you want a giveaway? Follow along! :)

Don't worry, I'm not above bribery.

Wine?

While watching Jillian and the boys on "The Bachelorette" consume some wine tonight, I've decided I should be drinking a bottle glass of wine. I'm thinking I'm going to become a glass of wine a night kind of gal.

I'm Horrible..

If there's a hell for doggie owners, I'm going there for sure. Let's examine the evidence..

Exhibit A: In the first 6 weeks of having Big Dog, we came home to find an empty bottle of Tylenol PM on the floor and destroyed. Crap! Call Animal Poison Control and they tell us to induce vomiting. As she begins throwing up, I realize the bottle she ate was the empty one, the full one was put away already. Oops. My bad.

Exhibit B: Within the first month of moving into our new house, Big Dog got into the closet that housed the medicine bin. She tasted like 5 different medicines and the whole time I was on the phone with Animal Poison Control, they couldn't understand how I didn't know what she ate. Um.. hello? She was left alone for 8 hours and could have eaten the whole thing for all I know. Crud. I'm horrible. Again, induce vomiting.

Exhibit C: She consumed cold medicine and Benadryl. I follow the standard operating procedure, call the vet, they tell me to call Animal Poison Control. There, they say.. you guessed it, induce vomiting.

It wouldn't be quite so bad, except when she threw up I found things in there I had no idea she had eaten. You know, things like grass, plastic, a sock. Yes, she threw up grass, plastic, a sock, and the pills. I'm a really spectacular dog owner.

Anyone want me to puppy sit?